Who Let The Fog Out? 10 Reasons To Watch The Fog

I guess no normal person really needs a reason to watch The Fog. But on the off chance that someone is not normal and does in fact need reasons to watch one of the most atmospheric horror films of all time, I have decided to make some. Some are obvious, some are random and some don't really make any sense at all--but that's the beauty of The Fog--there's so many wonderful things about it.

1. Campfire stories

I think I've mentioned this before, but I was never a camp kid. This makes for two really sad things that I have missed out on because of it--getting killed by a serial killer AND hearing spooky ghost stories while sitting around the campfire. The opening story in The Fog is so delightful. It perfectly sets the mood and tone for the eerie occurrences we are about to witness. The story of the Elizabeth Dane is riddled with old ships, disaster and the wide eyed looks of the kids huddled around the fire. Trust me, I've asked the age old question of why I can't have a spooky old man tell me and my friends campfire stories when I'm bored, a million times and I can never come up with a good answer--except that I'm horribly unlucky, and that also there is a shortage of creepy old men who are not also pedophiles. Oh well.

2. Unexplained Spooky Phenomena!

I love how the first few minutes of The Fog is filled with all these spooky things happening. Glass breaking, chunks of wall falling off, dogs barking at nothing, bottles shaking, TV static, chairs moving, car alarms going off. It's the kind of stuff that ghost stories are made of and yet until I re-watched The Fog last night, I had practically forgotten that The Fog WAS about ghosts. Sure, they are a different kind of ghost (ghosts with leprosy--impressive) but they are still very much ghosts, and The Fog is still very much a ghost story. Plus, I love that the townsfolk refer to all these happenings as the town "falling apart".

3. The Strange Sexuality of Tom Atkins

Women are powerless against it! Men probably too. In fact, it's almost as strange and unexplainable as the spooky phenomena happening. Is there a good reason why Tom Atkins can bed a woman in less than 5 minutes? Other than the fact that he's Tom Atkins? No. I still don't get it. I've tried math equations, tea leaves AND I asked Jeeves. Nobody knows! I always find it so hilarious that this is Jamie Lee Curtis' and Tom Atkins' second scene after meeting each other and they are already naked. Previous to this they were making hitchhiking jokes and freaking out about spontaneous car windows bursting. Recipe for love I guess.

4. Drunken Sailors

Whatever happened to drunken sailors? OR better question--is there such thing as a non drunk sailor? I'm not sure. And even though the crew of the Sea Grass is only around for a few seconds, this scene is one of the most memorable. The drinking, the lines and of course..............

The George "Buck" Flower!

George "Buck" Flower victory fist pump!

5. Red Telephones

If there's one thing in life that I've always wanted--it's a red telephone. I mean, red telephones are so cool. This is because usually when you pick them up your call goes directly to someone important like the President OR maybe Kurt Russell. Naturally, Adrienne Barbeau's red telephone probably isn't that cool. But still one day--I'm going to get a regular phone and a red phone and then when people come over they'll ask me what the red telephone is for. And then I'll just get all serious and be all,"You don't want to know". Red phones are so mysterious!

6. Polite Ghosts

Hands down my favorite thing about the ghosts in The Fog is that they are polite. They knock before entering! I don't know any other ghosts that would do such a kind thing, do you? Granted, when you come and answer the door they then gut you with their hooks and drown you and gouge your eyes out--but hey---you didn't have to answer the door Mrs. Kobritz. Just sayin'.

7. The Music!

I'm obsessed with this theme. Listen my children and be transported to the foggy and majestic landscape of Antonio Bay.

8. Janet Leigh

The Fog has a few Hitchcock throwbacks that I absolutely dig. The first is of course the appearance of Janet Leigh who nicely reunited with her daughter Jamie Lee Curtis. I love her and I love that she is in this and that she's a crazy committee woman. The other cool thing about the Fog is that at one point Tom Atkins I think, mentions something about Bodega Bay--which if you recall is the place of action in The Birds. Now, in The Birds, all the bad stuff starts happening once Tippi Hendren comes into town. In The Fog--the bad stuff happens when Jamie Lee Curtis comes to town. Coincidence? I think not.

9. Possessed Wood

I promise I wasn't intending for that to come out dirty, but now that I think about it--it would be a wildly hilarious and appropriate title for a horror themed porn. Hmmm. Anywho--I'm going to swear so I apologize but I fucking LOVE when that piece of wood from the Elizabeth Dane sets itself on fire after the words 6 must die magically show up.

And also it's leaking all this nasty dead water on everything and man.....I just love it. I'm not 100% on this but I'm pretty sure we need more inanimate objects to do cool shit like this.

10. Adrienne Barbeau

So her breasts aren't as delightful as they are in Escape From New York--but she's still Adrienne Barbeau and she's a DJ. I've never told anyone this before but sometimes when it's really late, I pretend to talk like Adrienne Barbeau in her sexy DJ voice. Do you know what happens? My voice hurts! How does she do it? I'll tell you how--because she's Adrienne Barbeau damn it. Ugh. I just tried to do it again and it hurts! It hurts so much! There goes my dream of being a sexy DJ broadcasting from a lone lighthouse...boo.

BONUS

11. SOLID GOLD CROSS

No explanation necessary.