Friday, April 2, 2010

Our Favorite Horror Movies Turned into Porn

The recent confusion that took the twitterverse by storm involving me tweeting about watching The Dead Girl has got me thinking about how fantastic it would be if the same thing happened with pornos and horror movies. Sure most pornos that borrow horror movie titles are changed into something punny like the Blair Bitch Project but a quick glance at some titles proves that most of these titles don't need to be changed in order to elicit a chuckle of immature proportions. Behold a snazzy list of a few of our favorite horror movie titles that could just as easily be considered a porn.





Strangers on a Train


Plot: A daring housewife decides to expand her sexual life and finds strangers on trains to satisfy her deepest desires.



Or you could go the literal route. Everyone's favorite Stranger is back to make love on a train!

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Plot: An evil sorcerer with evil sperm...............(ejaculates! shhh you guys my Mom reads this!)




Rear Window



Plot: A man discovers he can see out of his butt hole and things get more interesting... and a little scary.





Single White Female

Plot: See Jungle Fever






The Girl Next Door



Plot: A porn star becomes a vulnerable young man's new neighbor. Wait a second...this isn't a porno, it's a teen comedy!




The Hills Have Eyes


Plot: A man becomes obsessed and paranoid when he realizes that women's nipples are actually eyes.






The Serpent and the Rainbow


Plot: Drama and sex enfolds at a Gay Rights convention.




The Thing

Plot: A giant penis terrorizes New York City.







100 Feet

Plot: A man with a foot fetish starts a bizarre and terrifying collection.






A Tale of Two Sisters


Plot: Pretty obvious. Oh and they're twins.









I Know What you Did Last Summer

Plot: A woman tries to keep her animal fetish on the down low. Doesn't work.







Peeping Tom

Plot: Tom watches women. Women get excited.



10 comments:

The Divemistress said...

I will never look at Ghostbusters the same way. Thanks for that.

Great post!

I'd also like to suggest "The Last Broadcast" in which a down-on-his-luck pornographer attempts to make his breakout girl-on-girl film.

Dster Sr. said...

HA-the gay guy with the flag pic is cute! I love gay people!

Chris Hallock said...

hahaha!
someone make Rear Window please!

BJ-C said...

*coughs* the midnight meat train
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Andre said...

Oh lord how did I miss Midnight Meat Train!!?

I'll have to do a part two!

Emily C said...

Hahaha, great post!!

A couple other possibilities:

He Knows You're Alone - Man waits until women's husbands have left for work, and then forces his way into their homes and seduces them.

30 Days of Night - Sexual-addict has 30 one-night stands with 30 different men/women in 30 nights.

Theron said...

The Devil's Backbone, anyone?

B-Movie Becky said...

Haha! Genius post. You've outdone yourself. :D

Igor said...

The Shining - the caretaker of a hotel gets his knob polished to a shine.

Carl (ILHM) said...

All too awesome, if only Rear Window had been made to these standards..