5 Things I've Learned This Year.

Yay we made it through another year! Every year we experience new things, new people and new places yadda yadda yadda. This year was an interesting one- I graduated from college, moved to Boston, became unemployed and then found a job- and most importantly I began a little project called The Horror Digest. After starting a blog sometime last year (Sunny's Delight if you're feeling saucy) I realized my true passion was Horror- and plus always having to look at my dog who died in March was too much for my little heart to handle. Thus began the formation of what you are reading now. SO before we began another year full of blogging I will tell you 5 things that I've learned since starting my blog.

1. I love John Landis.

This should come as no surprise to any of you- actually this whole list should come as no surprise. But for real...with every new person I meet in life- I find that I am constantly asking them if they know about John Landis. Sure they may "know" about him but do they KNOW ABOUT HIM? And by that I mean how awesome he is. I was trying to explain his genius to Emmy Doomas yesterday and I decided that it's because he has the perfect blend of comedy and horror that just feels so incredibly natural. His horror movies are just the right amount of funny to not be considered a "horror comedy". He maintains an equal hold of both- kind of similar to Tom Hanks who can be an amazing actor yet has the most perfect comedic timing I've ever witnessed. An American Werewolf in London has quickly come one of my favorite movies and it's becoming equally possible that John Landis may replace Dario Argento as my favorite director of all time. Mind blowing I know. So in closing, John Landis, if you're out there...I love you.

2. Eli Roth Really IS a Bastard. (But Still Attractive)

The inside of the horror world is a gross and disgusting place- actually I don't know that but what I do know is that some people have huge heads and egos and my experiences these past few months have shown me this in full force. I promise this will be the last time I go into this story- and with the new year comes new obsessions and new people to block me (wink wink John Landis). Ahem. At some point these last few months I noticed someone had retweeted one of Mr. Roth's tweets. That's funny I thought...that tweet of his never showed up on my timeline...let me check out OH WHAT what is this shit? Eli Roth had had months of tweets that I had never seen how could this be?! I went to follow him again thinking that Twitter had become wacky at some point and deleted those I was following but instead I got this message "This user has blocked you from following them" Yeah what the shit is that about? I've gone over and over the past few months in my head and the only logical explanation is that A. he was scared of the love I had for him and B. he was mad that I said I don't like Hostel or Cabin Fever but LOVED emphasis on loved, Hostel 2 and that I still had faith in him. Apparently that warrants a block? Shade city. After a little research I've found that people have had similar experiences, namely writing him nice comments on his Myspace about how they didn't love a certain part of his movie but loved many many other things- which in turn lead to Eli completely deleting the entire comment. In the immortal words of Stephanie Tanner, How rude! But for real, grow some skin and realize that not everyone is going to love you.

3. French is the New Asian.

Alright I've beaten around the bush long enough so I'm just going to say it- I don't like Asian horror. Well I like it but I don't love it as much as everyone else seems to. But it seems to me like French Horror has really picked up the pace this past few years. With movies like Martyrs, Inside, Ils, Frontiers, High Tension, title after title of complete and utter masterpieces I cannot help but notice that foreign horror has a new Daddy. Move over Asian Horror, the French are here to claim your throne. I am so excited to see what the French will come up with next that I can hardly contain my excitement. On a side note French children are also the new Asian baby. I always see this little French boy talking French to his mother on his way to school and it overloads me with cuteness. It sounds to me like the French are just taking over the whole world...I wonder if French game shows are superior as well...

4. Children are Terrifying.

I used to think sharks and spiders were terrifying but I honestly think I'm ready to amend my list of worst fears and add crazy, creepy, murderous children to it. The Children, Orphan (debatable) The Village of the Damned, The Brood, It's Alive!, Grace, The Innocents - the list can go on for ages! I had never before realized just how scary children can really be and with the latest additions of Grace and The Children it's pretty obvious that filmmakers are ready to seize the issue as violently and brutally as possible. Children are no longer safe from on screen deaths or violence - basically nothing is taboo any longer and with the promise of the new year brings the promise of more vile and terrifying children....ooh I shudder at the thought!

5. Blogging is the Tits.

The Horror Digest has been in business since July and I can't believe how far it's really come. I used sit and watch the counter on my blog and cheer for joy when one new person came to read each day. My first comment? Forget it- I was celebrating for weeks. And now I average about 100 something views a day- plus on average about 8 comments per post. I still can't believe it and it makes me swell with pride and gratitude for all of you that read and seem to enjoy what I write. The fellow bloggers and horror fans I have interacted with these past months are some of the greatest people I've ever met. And with the creation of this blog and the success I've gained, I've come to realize that this is my true passion in life. Thank you to all, you know who you are and I love each and every one of you. Happy New Year and may the next year bring us luck and excitement in the horror world!

Twilight Zone The Movie: Yes I'm Aware That I May Have a Slight John Landis Obsession.

I can honestly say that I had no idea John Landis wrote and directed the prologue and first segment of this movie. I swear! Only after watching the prologue and laughing my ass off then jumping out my seat did I start to wonder who was responsible. And as it just so happens....it was good old John and he stole my heart again.

The prologue was as usual- fantastically written. The conversation between Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks was so natural and just naturally funny. I hadn't cracked up that much since... well since posting the naked man stole my balloons picture on the sidebar.

The movie is broken down into 4 segments directed by 4 different directors. Now not to be unfair to my new obsession but the 1st segment wasn't that great. I attribute this to the fact that there wasn't as much talking and even less actual fearsome moments. It featured a man who used racial slurs and was just an overall asshole after losing out on a promotion. After leaving a bar he finds he has been transported to various times of political uprising and is always the person you would least want to be i.e. a Jew in Nazi Germany, a black man in Ku Klux Klan country etc. Hmmm I guess looking back I did enjoy how the segment addressed the dangers of wearing a flammable white sheet while standing next to a burning cross...

The first segment was unnerving I suppose but I just found it lacking in overall creepiness.

Now the 2nd segment was where the real snoozing began. I appreciate the attempt Spielberg but I don't want to feel all warm and happy while I'm in the Twilight Zone! I don't care if you try to win my vote by using Mr. Hollorann from The Shining...The Story centered around a rest home where Mr. Hollorann allows for the old folks to rediscover their youth through a pleasant game of kick the can. I couldn't help but be put off due to it's annoying resemblance to Hook and Big Top Pee Wee (yes the movie where the cranky old folks eat cocktail wieners grown off a tree and revert back to their youth) Touching, heart warming and zzzzzzzzz.

Now onto the good stuff. The 3rd segment was I think the best part of the entire movie. It made me genuinely creeped out without allowing me to feel utterly hopeless by the end. The story follows Anthony, a boy who has the power to make whatever he wants to happen- happen. Pretty remarkable and standard right? Wrong. Because Anthony here wants his entire house to be a creepy cartoon-like world and has the power to remove people's mouths and turn his "Uncle" into a magician that pulls huge and scary rabbits out of hats!

From the moment Helen walks through the door and the scary family huddles around her- and Anthony takes her on a tour of the house....it just brings this horribly creepy feeling. The story and setting just felt more genuine than the rest and I kind of wish the entire movie concentrated on Anthony and his cartoon world.

Which brings me to segment 4... a panicky tale starring John Lithgow- a nervous flyer who believes he sees an alien destroying the plane's engines in a storm. The segment does a great job of making you feel like you too are trapped in a flying metal coffin- and the ending provides just the right amount of satisfaction.

Overall the Twilight Zone movie is a very entertaining bit of film. I guess I could have done without the first 2 segments- but oh well! I still adore John Landis so never you mind. The Twilight Zone has always reminded me of a more sophisticated version of Are You Afraid of the Dark? and this movie definitely holds true for that assessment. If you can't spare the time at least do yourself the favor of just watching the prologue....

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Hostel II: It's a Blood Bath... Hah

I expected to hate this one a lot more than I actually did. In fact, it is very possible that I enjoyed this much more than the first. My first thoughts within the very first moments of the film were that I hated it. Why bring Paxton back at all if you're just going to dispose of him in the lamest of ways? It felt like his sole purpose was to make this movie a part of Hostel rather than a sequel, and that's just manipulation! Once Paxton was disposed of however things got more interesting.

The change of sex in the main characters was very intriguing. I figured we would only be met with brutality and rape, but it turns out the girls are more powerful than the men, and know how to use their money wisely at that. While Hostel continues to portray Europe in a highly unfavorable light, it does it affectively as I continue to avoid ever going to eastern europe and staying in a hostel. Especially a hostel where that creepy guy is at the front desk.

It was fun to see that nothing had changed from the first. Still the same old Hostel, and the same old derelict factory- only we get to see different sides of it- and in addition to that a different side of the elite hunting company in general. I did find myself wondering however, why miss blood bather got such a nice spread when everyone else got the standard meat torturing chamber look. Oh well different strokes for different folks.

The blood bath scene was pretty amazing. I honestly didn't think Eli had it in him to make such a moving scene. The blood turned excessive kind of quickly as I would have enjoyed a much more artful dousing of it, but other than that it was a very thoughtful and original sort of kill. Bijou Phillips' character on the other hand- bit of a gyp there. Viktor Krum's sequence was very stomach turning and felt like a total throwback to Hostel where I received no pleasure from watching what was unfolding on screen. Perhaps the girls just always reign supreme.

The ending was very enjoyable to watch and I'm glad things ended the way they did because I was very worried for a second there that the whole twist and character reversal would ruin things. Overall I enjoyed the way the beginning showed all the businessmen bidding on the girls sometimes in the comfort of their own homes and even next to their family. I also liked how the movie wasn't just a regurgitation of the previous movie only with different characters. I thought it brought things to another level that was both satisfying and exciting.

While I didn't enjoy the beginning, or the lord of the rings type music that played when the two businessmen were walking to their rooms, I was still pleasantly surprised. I don't entirely enjoy these movies because they still make me feel all gross and barfy feeling-but needless to say, I am thrilled that my secret crush was able to make this movie somewhat enjoyable to me- a self proclaimed Hostel hater. Thank you Eli, you have proven me wrong.

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It's Alive!: Nice Head Mutant Baby

It seems as though I'm really on a killer baby/baby movie kick. I only moved this up on my queue because a website linked my blog to a post about It's Alive! And I hadn't even written a post about it yet! Instead the link brought their readers to my post about the Candyman....oh well special surprise I guess. I'm kind of sad I did move it up because in all honesty it was a bit of a snoozer, with only a few things I liked.

The plot is simple. A couple has a baby that turns out to be a mutant massive head baby with big fangs and claws. He had barely just made it out of the vagina when he starts biting every doctor in the room. The husband runs into the delivery room to find all the doctors and nurses dead and his wife screaming WHAT DOES MY BABY LOOK LIKE. I guess that scene is pretty decent although I expected more of a look into the event actually happening. So anyways the baby runs lose and just starts eating random people at will. Police decide they need to kill the baby and they go on a baby hunt.

So the scenes I did enjoy was the milkman scene. Mostly because I loved how he went in for like 3 or 4 bottles before the mutant baby actually grabbed him, so it was a bit suspenseful in that sense, but I really LOVED how the blood mixed with the milk. Bloody milk? Sick. Bloody milk because of a mutant baby attack...pretty awesome. Although side note: there was a rumor in high school that the chocolate milk was only chocolate because the milk was bloody and they had to cover up the color...ah memories.

I also liked how we only saw what the baby looked like little by little. It was like it started with just seeing a tooth, then we got more and more it was a pretty effective little trick kind of like Jaws but not nearly as terrifying. I also appreciated the emotion from the father at the end. Faced with the option of shooting his mutant baby or not and he just couldn't handle it. I do feel that this movie is mostly pro-life.....or is it pro choice... not sure I guess there is evidence for both but in this instance- what it reminded me of was how people back out of abortions because they suddenly get attached or people that put their children up for adoption can't go through with it if they hold it or form some sort of bond. Despite the connotations I really felt for the guy and his well timed tears.

I didn't like how the pace was so freaking slow...it reminded me of When a Stranger Calls in that I was like come onnn get to the good stuff already. I also wasn't a big fan of the baby's point of view. It was too blurry and made me nauseous. Perhaps they could have kept that POV in but not have made it blurry? I mean it's like presumptuous of them...just because he's a mutant baby he can't see properly? Jerks. Also why when the woman realized she was in labor did the husband take his sweet time? Speed it up Daddy there is no time to be waking your son up with the cat and having heart to heart chats!

Overall much too slow- not exciting enough or creative enough deaths. No real suspense was created and I never felt scared. While the beginning scene is unsettling it's not unsettling enough to really wow me. But I suppose it did open the door to the possibility of the killer being a poor harmless child.

Poor mutant baby he only wanted to be with his family : (
Also was the ending scene filmed in the same place as the big car race in Grease?! Neato guys!

Buy It's Alive! at Horror Movie Empire!

Cabin Fever: It's Official, Going to a Cabin in the Woods is Never a Good Idea.

As I said before the Evil Dead was really the first case of "cabin fever" and now Eli Roth has served up another dose with a movie actually called Cabin Fever...tricky little devil. Some rebellious kids take a little vacation in the woods only to each succumb to a deadly flesh eating virus. No one really has a chance because the disease is spreading through contaminated water and everyone loves water, except the douche bag who vowed only to drink beer- turns out that was a good plan.

The disease sneaks up on the main characters by first making it's appearance on the face of a wandering man who the douche bag encounters in the wood. The guy coughs up blood all over the place and they accidentally set fire to him. The man falls into the water source dying, spreading his filth and the disease too into the water. Rider Strong's little girlfriend gets it first when he tries to seduce her the next morning. Blue balls occur in the worst possible manner, as he finds the flesh on her inner leg have begun to deteriorate or maybe she just got her period who knows.

Everyone's favorite scene seems to be the leg shaving scene which is sort of funny because seriously who cares that your legs are hairy when there is a flesh eating disease going around? AND what is also funny is that she keeps on shaving through the scabs and flesh eating and the razor makes the most terrible noise.....yikes it is pretty rough to watch.

I also enjoyed when Rider Strong killed his girlfriend with the shovel. It evokes the same pain that Ash felt when he had to dismember his woman with a chainsaw...of course Ash wasn't man enough but whatever. It's all the same kind of helplessness and hopelessness that makes the fear in these kinds of movies believable. Especially now with Swine Flu going around- we can really see that disease makes people go nuts. The movie isn't terrible and there are some great scenes but for the most part is sort of falls flat. I'm not entirely sure why but I think it takes too long for some of the characters to die- and maybe because there are some poor usages of racial slurs. It's entertaining but can sometimes cause me to shout, "get to the point!". Perhaps Eli Roth was testing the waters with this one before setting off into the worldwide web of Hostel and serious gross outs. Perhaps perhaps.

Here is a quick clip of the leg shaving scene.

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What Psycho Did For Showers, Hostel Did For Vacationing To Eastern Europe.

I am not a huge fan of the increasing fad of "torture horror" films. I saw Hostel one night and Saw as well just to say that I did it. I don't enjoy the films because it's such a feeling of pointlessness to me. Give me story-lines and artistic blood patterns, villains with depth and heroes that aren't just dumb big boobed bimbos. But I digress. Hostel while in the torture genre is still a rather disturbing bit of film.

3 backpackers are in Europe doing the usual sex club, brothel thing. They meet a gross looking kid who claims there is a brothel filled with beautiful woman who will do whatever you want. The boys are captivated and go to the city. The stay in hostel with 2 seemingly perfect slave girls who tempt the boys into going to the spa and then having sex. What a vacation. The next morning their foreign pal goes missing but they receive a text from him with a strange picture of his head and a smokestack behind it saying he has left. We soon find his head is decaptitated. The boys decide to leave but somehow end up at the disco with the weird girls anyways. They are both drugged and Josh goes back to the hostel and Paxton gets locked in some kind of alleyway or something strange. Paxton wakes up and finds Josh gone. Josh has been tortured and killed by the Dutch business man they met earlier in the film on the train. Paxton decides to go to the weirdo slut girls and find out some info. They tell him they will take him to his friend.

They pull up at an old factory. Paxton goes in and sees room after room of people being tortured and killed. Then he gets attacked by some burly men and he too is put into a room undergoing a nauseating scene of torture. Paxton manages to kill his torturer and escape in the end committing a violent payback against the dutch business man who tortured and killed Josh.

The thing about this movie that makes me feel the most grossed out, is just the environment. Eastern europe is not given a very good name these days and this film certainly doesn't help. The disgusting atmosphere of the factory just makes me feel very uneasy. The torture scenes weren't as bad as I expected them to be, but the after scenes of the burly men chopping up bodies and hosing down bloody tables I think is more difficult to watch.

It is valiant the way that Paxton escapes and his payback at the end is very satisfying. The scene where he makes it into the locker room and dons a businessman's suit is also especially creepy. He talks with a man waiting to torture his victim and seeks advice from Paxton on how he should do it. Paxton suggests he make it quick as possible. Of course we later find that man taking a blow torch to an Asian girls eye so obviously he didn't listen.

But this idea of business men paying absurd amounts of money to kill someone is very creepy. Eli Roth says that his inspiration for the film came when he came across a Thai website giving patrons the ability to torture and kill someone for $10,000. That alone is terrifying and this movie only brings that terror further into your consciousness.

So all in all I think it one of the better torture movies although I still would pass up watching it again. Something about it just makes me feel sick, and I really don't think it's the gore.

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