Saturday, December 19, 2009

Deadline: Brittany Murphy's Face and Other Disasters

Whenever I see Brittany Murphy's face it makes twitch uncontrollably. I attribute this to the fact that I always imagine my body swarming with crabs, scabies, or just various STD's due to coming into any close contact with the Murphster. So when I saw that Brittany Murphy was in Deadline I took a deep breath and downed my second cup of hot cocoa. That's right I manned up and watched the damned thing. Why? Good question and I still don't know the answer.

The problem with Deadline is that it has been done before. A writer ventures somewhere where they won't be disturbed so that they can make their deadline (*ding ding*) but ends up being disturbed anyways either by ghosts, a murderer, or THEIR MINDS. This story has taken all shapes and sizes; the Shining, Misery, Secret Window, even I Spit on Your Grave. Apparently writers can't write in the comforts of their own home? Well anyways- Deadline really brings nothing new to the table. Brittany Murphy continues to look like a crack addict and Thora Birch continues to wonder what happened to her career after American Beauty.

I jumped twice during the course of this movie. Which is less times than I thought it would be. Please note that when "jumping" is used as a form of scare tactic in this kind of movie that means it's bad on my scale. It's bad because if there is nothing scary in a movie at all- they will almost always result to jump scares to get that rise out of you. So by only having a few of those jump scares, Deadline manages to keep a few points. Of course by the end all those points end up being tossed out the window so it really doesn't matter.

Now to be fair there is a creepy atmosphere and setting in this movie. But on the other hand it is a big and creepy house so....not much of a hard task to accomplish. What really ruins the movie for me is how the "twist" isn't explained well enough. By the time the movie is over you are scratching your head and trying to figure out what it all meant. But it's not confusing in a good, provocative deep way. It's confusing in a something wasn't translated as well as it should have been way. The ending has this intentional note of ambiguity where there should have been none. It's like the movie was lying about what actually happened. And it really bothered me.

Overall Deadline is just a regurgitation of every haunted house/ psychological thriller that has been created. Ok well it's not terrible but it's pretty damn close. I just find that there are really no redeeming factors at all. I can't think of one striking image, or anything that will stick with me once I hit the "publish post" button. It's a forgettable movie- which is partially good because I like to forget that I ever looked at Brittany Murphy's face for an hour and a half.

Buy Deadline at Horror Movie Empire

Edit:The Day after this post was published, Brittany Murphy died due to Cardiac Arrest. Although she disgusted me I still feel like a terrible person and now you know that yes I do have a heart. RIP Brittany Murphy.

8 comments:

Matt-suzaka said...

Yeah, Murphy's face could use some Murphy's oil to clean up the tree bark left in her face after being smacked with the ugly tree.

I started watching this for pretty much the same reason you did...as in, I have no idea why. I only put it on for something to fall asleep to, sometimes when I do that, the movie is actually good and I end up staying awake. Not the case with this one, however.

Guess after reading your review, I shall not bother to go back to it anytime soon.

Planet of Terror said...

I will continue to avoid this. Thank you.

Andre said...

Phew, I'm glad I could save you both!

Anonymous said...

Nice comments, she passed away today. RIP Brittany. gone too soon @32.

Matt-suzaka said...

Really ANONYMOUS?! Because of these harsh words said about her, the only harsh words that have EVER been said about her, is the reason she died?

Maybe no one should dislike anyone anymore in the fear that they may pass on the very next day. In that case, I shall continue to talk shit about Will I Am and people who use ANONYMOUS to take jabs at others.

Word is born.

Mike Snoonian said...

Looks like you won't have BM to kick around no more!

Still won't watch this heap of crap. I weep for Thora Birch-she was my go to movie crush after Ghost World-so much so my roommate at the tome made me a duct tape wallet with a picture of her on it.

JLG said...

Don't feel bad, Anonymous is a butt-cheek.

B-Sol said...

I've known Anonymous for years. He's ugly, smells bad, and is no fun at parties at all.
Oh and Andre--impeccable timing, my dear. Kudos! :-)