Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Scary Face Club!




I'm starting a club because I feel like there's a real lack of clubs in this world. When I was in elementary school, I was in a pretty sweet club called, "We just saw the Craft and are now pretending to be witches". I was also in the Jelly Belly club--which was amazing because you got an actual club membership card and you could lie and tell them that your name was something else. Mine was Starr Dumas. HA. That's embarrassing....don't repeat that to anyone. But now? What cool clubs are there out there? Sam's club? Burger King kid's club? See? There is a shortage of clubs and that is why I am hereby starting up the scary face club. P.S. Yes this is going to be exactly like the Babysitter's Club, only scary.


Every month I will induct 5 scary faces into the Scary Face Club. It will be fun, because we can sit around and talk about and look at scary faces all day. For this first month's meeting, I will be taking a vote on who the president of the Scary Face Club should be and I want every body's input. This means YOU Kurt Russell. I know you're out there somewhere........

So without further ado here are the first five scary faces to enter the Scary Face Club.


Pazuzu



Pazuzu has my vote for the President of the Scary Face club. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say FUCK YOU scary Exorcist face. I always forget when it's going to show up and then it gets me every single fucking time. And then, I close my eyes and all I can see is that face. Oh god oh god.


Zelda



It's common knowledge that when a man plays the role of a woman--shit is usually scary. Such is the case with the Zelda flashbacks in Pet Sematary. There are few things more terrifying and disgusting than seeing Zelda writhing on the bed and trying to eat.



Dumpster Creature



I often get in trouble for posting this picture without warning. So if you are one of those people that gets easily upset by this picture, then I apologize. I'm sure none of us expected to actually see what the monster behind the dumpster looked like. I myself assumed it was all in that one guy's head. This is what makes the monster's/homeless man's appearance so incredibly terrifying. That and the fact that it's just a really scary fucking face. And it's dirty.


The Countess



I think you should know, that I still have a hard time entering a dark room and turning on the lights because of this damn Countess. One of these days she's going to be lying there in my bed and staring at me with those eyes. And then I will cry for a very, very long time.


Barlow



I had to decide on the final inductee with some help from the Twitterverse. Barlow and Count Orlok look the exact same so it's difficult for me to decide who gets to be on the first committee of the Scary Face Club. In the end however, I was reminded of how fucking scary the first time we see Barlow is---and many agreed and therefore, Barlow wins! Don't cry Count Orlok, you'll be in the Scary Face Club someday!


SO. Who gets your vote for president of the Scary Face Club?

And without further ado---The first meeting of the Scary Face Club has come to order!




27 comments:

Kaz said...

I would have to throw in a vote for Angela Baker.

The end of Sleepaway Camp still scares me. So very, very, very, wrong.

David said...

Best. Club. Ever.

My vote for President goes to Barlow for the chidlhood memory shock value :)

Jennifer Leigh said...

Zelda gives me the CREEPS in a serious way.

Andre said...

She is NOT on the ballot for president Kaz!! But she'll be around for another meeting, I'm sure.

B.STANK said...

I can't be around the Rachels that I know without doing a Zelda version of "Raaaaachel", but Barlow is the sickest. Barlow for me!

Chris Hewson said...

Michael Berryman might make a good scary face candidate.

Chris Hewson said...

Or Rosemary from Demons (although any face in that film would probably work).

lazlo azavaar said...

What about that melty face person Laura Dern meets at the end of Inland Empire?

Andre said...

Okay every one settle down! I have enough Scary Face candidates to last for months. : )

Christine Hadden said...

Yeah, though Zelda still gives me nightmares, I'm still going with Barlow here too. Although it should be Pazuzu since he's really only in a few scenes, so it would be just like our government, practically non-existent.

Kaz said...

You see, I obviously misread you in a hasty attempt to get away from the freaking dumpster creature.

Jen said...

Pazuzu! Thanks a lot-- I am going to be up all night now!

matango said...

I'm gonna have to go with Pazuzu. I don't want to have to look at the Dumpster Creature as he's leading meetings.

John said...

I vote for Barlow!! Messed up face, Man. :)

Matt-suzaka said...

I'm going to come up with a porn riff on Scary Face club and call it scary genitals club. It's where people can vote on who's got the scariest junk. I will not be a candidate.

Oh, my vote goes to Zelda. She has a video game and she's in the Poltergeist films!

Superheidi said...

Hmmm.. Okay.

Why is Tori Spelling not on the ballot?

Emily said...

The moment Chucky comes to life and shows his horrid little mug to Catherine Hicks. Alternate officer, if nothing else!

The French Waffle said...

The dumpster guy from Mulholland Drive has and will always have my vote, I just love the set up of that scene and the pay off is so perfect. I would also say that the Mystery Man in Lost Highway should deserve admittance into the scary face club, David Lynch knows how to present creepy.

Annonae Maus said...

Could I nominate BOB from Twin Peaks, that face gave me nightmares for weeks on end...

Andre said...

Bob will definitely have his time Annonae Maus ; )


There is STILL a tie between Barlow and Pazuzu. Also there is now a poll over there on the right, and that'sin a tie too. What a predicament.

Anonymous said...

A toss up between Pazuzu and Zelda. Pazuzu comes out of nowhere but Zelda lingers and stays in the mind long after the movie is over. However, the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang would defiantly have my vote should he ever make an appearance...

Bridgett said...

Dumpster Creature FTW! I still CAN NOT watch that scene. It probably has a lot to do with the music too, but nothing, aside from a close-up of a spider's horrible face, is scarier.

T.L. Bugg said...

Pazuzu will get my vote, but only because Sarah Jessica Parker isn't on the list.

Carrie B said...

Love your choices, but I must correct you on something: Bonnie Aarons, a wonderful woman/ actress played the homeless person (the nightmare behind the dumpster).

Andre Dumas said...

I did know that Carrie and wrote about it one lazy day when I first realized that. I simply meant that in the film her character is a scary homeless man/demon

http://horrordigest.blogspot.com/2010/08/did-you-know.html

jasa pembuatan website said...

wowwwwww hahahhaha fuck that face

Elsa Frankenstein said...

I well remember "The Countess" from the 1963 movie "Black Sabbath"; the story "The Drop of Water". That Countess was embedded in my mind since I first saw her as a child, and unfortunately she has never left it. As for Pazuzu's face, please don't make me look at it! ;o)