Dead Alive: Always Remember: After Watching Dead Alive, Wait 20 Minutes Before Eating.

Dead Alive is another film that I had been purposely avoiding for many of the same reasons as Evil Dead II. In fact, my seeing it was due to a mistake on my part for not checking my Netflix queue. Since my top 7 movies or so were all "Long waits" the next on the list was in fact Dead Alive. Now, it's not that I don't appreciate entertaining, goofy gory films-- but Dead Alive just always seemed like a movie I never wanted to see, at the risk of being grossed out for the duration of the day. Granted I have sat through a few of the most disturbing films known to man, but even those films aren't disgusting the entire time. Dead Alive in my opinion goes above and beyond any film that claims it is "extremely violent and gory" and even films like Saw cannot compete with the sheer level of disgust and oozing splendor of guts and that sticky goo stuff as found in Dead Alive. I would actually LOVE to see some of the younger Saw fans watch Dead Alive and see what happens...hmmm that would be an amazing experiment. Quick somebody do it.

Initially my knowledge of Dead Alive was misinformed due to its box cover.

Much like Monkey Shines, I had lived a great portion of my life creating in my head what I thought the movie was about due to this cover. What I thought was of course very wrong. All these years I thought Dead Alive was about a weird skeleton monster that lived inside of people's mouths! The 90s had a few kinks in the marketing ploys I think.

In any case, Dead Alive is not about a skeleton monster that lives inside people's mouths, it's about zombies. When an extremely disgusting rat monkey makes its way to the zoo,

it bites the arm of Lionel Cosgrove's overly protective and strict mother. She soon starts literally falling apart and before long becomes a flesh eating, rotting zombie. In his attempt to prevent himself from becoming a murderer, Lionel does everything he can to keep his mother from doing harm to others. Unfortunately his best efforts do little to prevent a full fledged zombie attack from hitting their tiny town.

I can very much appreciate a film like Dead Alive or Evil Dead II, because they are largely entertaining, staples of the horror genre. For many they are snippets of people's childhoods, and survive as foundations for their future love of horror. Probably owing to the fact that I am not seeing these films until now--I find that I have a hard time taking anything away from them. Yes, they are entertaining, and they are wildly hilarious at certain points but overall I just kind of feel like I'm watching something much too senseless. While the party scene and lawn mower massacre are vital parts of the movie, I just feel like it drags on.

This is what is unappealing to me. I've seen the bits of hilariously gory gore, and I just don't want to see it for a full 25 minutes or however long that scene runs on.

Am I any less of a horror fan because I don't love senseless gore shoved in my face for the duration of the film? Some will I'm sure say yes--and to them I say stuff it. I don't like movies that only have over the top gore and I'm not sure I ever will. I do however love atmosphere, and ghosts, and...beautiful blood and OTHER things. So I am still very much a horror fan alright?!!

Aside from the fact that I didn't love it, I will say that it's going to be very difficult to wash the visions of all that gore out of my eyes. I know it holds records for the most blood used and all that, but when you see it all coming at you like hurricane--it really puts things into perspective. Every single shot of gore, was different from the previous one. Everything is insanely creative, and so amazingly disgusting it's almost impossible to believe. The whole entire time is spent just going, "ewww". What is it about the gore that gets to people's gag reflexes in this? I think it has something to do with how thick the guts are. It's not just a vat of fake blood...it's like a horrible mixture of cottage cheese and mucus. Yup. that's it.

A lot of people talk about the dinner scene and I must say I have never seen anything quite as repulsive as a giant pus wound being squirted into a man's custard. Good lord, that mother was a giant blob of vomit. The best part perhaps is that she was even disgusting when she wasn't a rotting zombie. And then there is of course the end scene which most unfortunately puts the rotting old lady boobs from The Shining in 2nd place in the most disgusting old lady boobs contest. Yes, the winner is Lionel's giant skeleton rat mother's enormous, saggy, purple nipple boobs. Quite frankly---the most horrifying thing I have seen in my lifetime.

I will also say that a zombie baby is amazing, and that the zombie woman who got stuck on the light bulb was hands down my favorite part.

She was like some kind of glorious Christmas decoration illuminating the scene with true wonder. I'll be needing one of those in my bedroom. Oh and also, thank GOD I can sleep soundly knowing exactly what zombie sex is like.

Overall, Dead Alive is an astounding feat of gore and guts as well as a full on comedic romp. For me however that's all it really has going for it, and it's just not enough to win my heart over. It's too silly for me. I'll take my comedy horror hybrids with an extra dose of legitimate scare--see The Return of the Living Dead or even Tremors for more info. Maybe that is my biggest problem with Dead Alive. The aspect of the zombies was never anything scary--just gross. Perhaps the infatuation with zombies as being un-scary can be related to the infatuation with vampires being romanticized. Zombies and Vampires should always be scary. Sure they can still be funny and romantic, but something about them must retain their horror--otherwise I get bored.

Well, this sums up my thoughts.

Irreversible: Irreversible Indeed.

I'm not sure why we as horror fans, find it necessary to seek out the movies often deemed as "most shocking" or "most disturbing". Why do we need to be disturbed? Why do we need to sit ourselves down and force ourselves to watch something so unbelievably disgusting that we find it difficult to erase the thoughts from our minds? I suppose in a way we are like sadomasochists, submitting to the pain because deep down, somehow, it gives us satisfaction. Not that I'm satisfied right now, but the force that drives us to seek out these movies almost always accomplishes what it sets out to do, and that says something.

For me, seeking out these movies is more like a test of my strength as a film goer. I find that seeing films from the most disturbing list offers a sort of protection against everything else. Whenever I am forced to watch some brutally gory film I can always say to myself--at least you aren't watching someone eat a giant plate of steaming poop or--at least you aren't watching a real turtle get killed.

Alright fine if I must be honest, I suppose the true reason I seek out these films is my curiosity. We need to know for ourselves if they are really as disturbing as the rest of the world has made them out to be. Their notorious scenes of rape and seemingly realistic snuff film portrayals would be nothing if someone didn't have the urge to kill a baby after viewing them.

But being "disturbed" is such a heavy kind of word. I mean--to really cause someone to be disturbed is a serious description of the mind. In mental illness terms, defining someone as disturbed is saying that the individual is impaired in the mind. A disturbed individual's impairment drastically interferes with major life activities. I'm talking about eating, sleeping, bathing or the ability to function in social, familial or educational contexts. We're talking MAJOR effects here people. But we have in a much more minor way been disturbed by these movies. I do actually find it hard to function in a social context when all I can think about is how horrifying a 15 minute butt rape was.

Irreversible is on that list of disturbing movies because it does feature a 15 minute ass raping scene. It is however also on that list because it also shows the bleak inner workings of a gay S&M club called The Rectum. Pure terror is not seen until you witness a man violently fisting himself.....believe me. Something that sets Irreversible apart from some of the other more disturbing movies however, is that I find it to be entirely thought provoking and even extremely artistic. It's a film that works on so many levels that you need to hold your head to keep it from spinning. I find that I have a hard time with people that write movies off because they contain brutal rape scenes. Yes, some movies don't have a point to a rape scene--it's sole purpose being merely to shock its viewers. Irreversible does however have a point and the rape in the film is an integral part of the story.

The film is one of those confusing backwards films. Beginning with presumably the end of the film, and ending at the beginning--Irreversible weaves a twisted tale of revenge. After Marcus finds his girlfriend to be raped and beaten into coma status, he goes on a mad search to find the man that did it. That's pretty much the plot, but the film turns it into this gigantic maze of chaos. We begin with two men on a bed in their underwear discussing a disgusting past sex crime. One of these men happens to be "The Butcher" from the director's previous film I Stand Alone. After that we are shown Marcus bloody and on a stretcher, while another man is led out of the club wearing handcuffs. Next we are led through the gay sex club while Marcus relentlessly searches for a man named le Tenia (The Tapeworm.... ew). This search ends in one of the most violent and difficult to watch face bashing scenes I have ever witnessed. I was in complete and utter shock and was convinced for at least 5 minutes that he was actually hitting that man in the face with a fire extinguisher.

After this the plot only gets more chaotic, yet it starts to iron out some of the larger questions that we form in our heads. Before long we arrive at the infamous rape sequence and while it is incredibly horrific the weight of it all is heavier due to everything we have witnessed prior to this. Because we know what the end result is--the film gets that much more shocking, especially if you take note of who is getting beat with the fire extinguisher and who is close by watching.

Irreversible is one of the more interesting movie watching experiences that I've had. I began feeling marginally annoyed and bothered by the seemingly loud and flashy style of filming. Much of the beginning, up until after the rape scene is filmed on what feels like a home video camera, shakes, quakes and all. Not that I wanted to see the gay sex club in clear, and steady pictures--but not feeling like I wanted to puke could have been a plus.

Then, as things progressed my ears kind of started to perk up. The film was getting quieter and quieter as it moved along. Things began gently unfolding instead of getting yanked apart. This goes on till we are left with one of the most moving and unusual final scenes I have ever seen. It is in these final moments that the entire film begins to make sense. It's like the world suddenly becomes clearer, and we get it.

It's really a genius piece of film making if I may so. Sure, I may get accused of finding rape genius--but hopefully things won't come to that. This is what is genius: the story is structured by the very theme that keeps it running. How many films do you know that do that? Here is a theme; the irreversibility of our actions. The film plays the events in reverse almost as a way to reverse them. These events however are---irreversible. No matter what, what happened to that woman in the tunnel will never be erased. Just like no matter what we do we cannot reverse the fact that we watched this and that we saw a she-male's penis up close and personal. It's all so frickin mind boggling that it hurts! I don't want to talk about it too much more because I think it's a film that must be seen before it is talked about.

If you know you can handle a truly gruesome and relentlessly heavy and at times damaging to your eyes film--give Irreversible a shot. I will maintain till my dying day that the film has something to say, and that the way in which it says it is purely genius. I don't care who decides to hate me. See it for yourself and talk to me later.

Win Tickets to the Coolidge Corner Theater's Halloween Horror Movie Marathon! Entry Date Extended!

Hello once again Boston readers! October is right around the corner so I've decided it's time to kick off my month long contest. I am giving away 10 tickets to the Coolidge Corner Theater's Halloween Horror Movie Marathon, originally 20 bucks apiece but they can be yours for free. What's happening at the marathon this year? Dude, where have you been?

Winning tickets is simple. Email me at thehorrordigest@gmail.com and tell me your most memorable Halloween story (an actual event or favorite memory etc) I'll pick the winners on or around the last week before Halloween.

Easy to Remember Details

Win: 1 free ticket to the Coolidge Corner Theater's Halloween Horror Movie Marathon. Oct. 31st beginning at 12 AM.

How to Enter: Email thehorrordigest@gmail.com and tell me about your most memorable Halloween (anything about it, a good story, something scary that happened etc.)

When: Contest is open now and until I get 10 entries. Get those entries in!

EDIT! I've extended the contest till I get 10 whole entries. Right now I have about two (sad) so at this point, if you email me you pretty much win!