Monday, March 8, 2010

Random Scares


Every so often I'll be sitting in a room quietly minding my own business, when out of the far corners of my mind, comes a memory of a fear so great, that it makes me jump up and yell. Well okay maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but on the inside I do scream. Loudly. Usually these fears have largely to do with things that are not generally regarded as scary. Laugh all you want and point the "that's not a horror movie" finger, but part of horror is the idea that an image or fear is so well presented that it sticks with you for a long time. Hence the reason I do not believe in pigeon holing horror movies and excluding ones that are "Thrillers" or "Fantasies". Things can just be scary, they don't have to be included in the genre. I can even find scary moments in comedies (Home Alone anyone?) or cartoons, (*cough* I love the Carebears Movie) and I'm not afraid to share those fears with you all. So this post as with other "Scary Moments from Not So Scary Movies" are intended to shed some light on some oddly scary things that you may have missed.




Creepy Skeletal Gray Tinged Guy From Men in Black


I've searched far and wide and have not come across anyone who was as scarred by this man/ghoul as I was. Why does no one address the fact that this guy is terrifying? Furthermore, WHY does he look like that? He looks like an evil skeleton ghoul from the underworld. I really need to know how he stays in business as a key maker, because who would ever see that guy and say hmmm yeah I think I'll get him to make my keys for me....!!!? Yeah no thanks. And yes I know Will Smith addresses the fact that he thought that guy was the alien--but I'm saying that no one talks about this guy. Maybe he's overshadowed by the fact that Frank the pug talks and is adorable in his I Love NY hoodie, but I still need some answers. Whenever I'm alone and scared somewhere and I close my eyes, I can guarantee you that I will see this guy immediately. Also you have to think that make up can only do so much- this guy is not wearing any latex on his face so he pretty much just looks that scary in real life. Stringy gross hair, carved out facial features, and pale gray skin, are NOT on my happy list.



Legends of the Hidden Temple Guards

If you were not born sometime in the 80s than you are most likely not familiar with the amazing range of game shows that Nickelodeon had to offer. Last night I indulged in a little YouTube, and watched a few episodes of my favorite game shows. I learned two things from this experience; The hosts were usually drunk and often had the look of suicide creeping up on their faces, and the temple guards in Legend of the Hidden Temple were fucking terrifying. I hate haunted houses and I hate when people jump out at me. So when I'm pillaging through a Styrofoam temple in the semi dark looking for "Buddha's Bellybutton" under a time constraint, the last thing I want is for some crazy reject actor to come flying at me wearing a tribal mask. These poor kids practically had minor heart attacks, and I think one time a kid even ran straight out of the temple into Kurt Fog's arms. Even though I loved Legends of the Hidden Temple and desperately wanted to be on it- and be a Silver Snake, I made the decision that that dream would never happen, simply because the guards were just too terrifying. Also, I love how dumb the kids were on the show. How many reruns do you have to watch before you can properly identity the fact that you have to slam the monkey's head down in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey? Oh and I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes, I do own a Silver Snakes t-shirt thanks to this website.




Also because I over indulged in the YouTube last night and love ragging on dumb kids- I also found this video from Nick Arcade. A compilation of the greatest dumb asses in the shows history- and more evidence that the hosts were drunk and depressed all the time.


10 comments:

forestofthedead said...

Those fricking temple guards. Freaky bastards. Great post!

Planet of Terror said...

Is Legend the gameshow where kids basically wore a velcro suit and stuck as many Nintendo games to themself while going through an insanely crazy maze? The host was a ginger and I think he also hosted Double Dare after Sommers left.

Matt said...

Ho-ly shit! I used to LOVE the Carebears movie as a kid and that book demon thing creeped me out to no end. A few years ago, I was flipping through the channels with my girlfriend and came across it. I left it on for a minute and she was mocking me relentlessly. I knew there was someone else out there!

Andre said...

Haha PoT I am not sure about that...that sounds more like global guts, but not...no I don't know which gameshow that is! It's going to bother me because it sounds familiar.. Well there was a lot of velcro involved in Legends but Kurt Fog was no ginger!

Matt- I love the Carebears Movie to no end. I will watch the whole thing when it's on no question. I'm so glad I could comfort your love!

Pax Romano said...

I always figured that the Gray Tinged Guy was an homage to Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture show, after all Riff and company were all supposed to be aliens.

http://media.skateboard.com.au/forum/images/RHPS-CRH46-RiffRaffPortrait.jpg

Andre said...

Ha! That's a very intelligent observation Pax and now you've reawakened another fear I had...Riff Raff! Gah!

ZedWord said...

That video is hilarious. Ten minutes of dumb. Poor kids.

William Malmborg said...

Oh wow, I used to watch the Legend of the Hidden Temple show everyday. Back then I really wanted to be on the show, yet I always feared one of their prizes -- the trip to some NASA thing because I thought they would really send you into space and was frightened of that.

Looks like I'll be visiting YouTube tonight.

Andre said...

Haha I had that same exact fear! Have you ever seen the movie Space Camp? It's about kids at Space Camp who actually do get sent to space by accident during the simulation exercise. After seeing that, I vowed never to go on any Nickelodeon game shows...

Carl (ILHM) said...

Its always depressed me that I never got to be on Legends.. It was a childhood dream but I was way too young to ever qualify. Maybe if they remake it I can be the creepy suicidal host lol..