Friday, November 4, 2011

I Get By With a Little Help From The Thing



Last Saturday we had a snowstorm in Massachusetts. A snowstorm in October. It was fairly close to being dubbed as the worst in my 'Things That are the Worst' book. Luckily the midnight screening of Suspiria that I attended that night managed to fix things mostly. However. The snow reminded me of things like death, anger, and gloom. Don't be alarmed, these are normal thoughts that flow through my head during the winter season. If you don't know by now it's high time you did---winter can suck it.

So on that dismal night of the October snow I began recalling among other things, the unpleasantness of being cold, angry and scared. It was then I realized that I was long overdue for another viewing of The Thing. Naturally, if I can't love the snow, I can at least love Kurt Russell in the snow.




The thing about The Thing is that it kind of breaks my heart. Watching it is both the best and worst experience of my life. It's the worst because it's like having a party with all your friends and them watching them all die one by one---which makes you sad. You also have to watch dogs die, and you find out that people you have trusted, really aren't who you thought they were. It's a lot to handle okay?

I mean, you straight up are building relationships with these people. You're seeing MacReady through his alcoholism and bad chess playing.



You're spending time with Nauls by rollerskating and jamming to Stevie Wonder in the kitchen.



You're feeling sad and gloomy with Clark.




You're making sullen faces with Garry.




You're trying not to upset Childs.


These people ARE your family. It's almost certainly a lesson on how to imprint the feelings and surroundings of your characters on your audience. Our characters are in a sense trapped with each other so they become each other's family and essentially---their life. We get that same feeling even by knowing them for only an hour and 40 minutes. Alright, so maybe I'm one of few people who takes things so directly when watching this. I can't help it if I have a soul.

Also, fuck you guy who wrote that article about The Thing's special effects not holding up nowadays. What movie were you watching? I'm still continuously wowed by how awesome and absolutely putrid everything looks in this. And to think that it's all practical effects, that somebody created those effects completely blows my mind away. Go back to your modernized head filled with CGI blood and laziness you bastard.









Well now I've lost my train of thought and that's just great. I guess all I wanted to say was that this viewing of The Thing made me feel sad deep down inside. I miss my friends, but I suppose I can always see them again whenever I want. BUT then if I do want to see them, I'll just have to see them die all over again and again and again. Why is the world so cruel? Also, can someone please make a parody of the theme song of Friends but with characters from The Thing? Thanks.

10 comments:

Thomas Duke said...

I wouldn't wipe my ass with a Owen Glieberman article. I don't know why that's a saying, but you get what I mean.

Kev D. said...

This movie still blows my mind and horrifies me, EVERY TIME. The effects hold up unbelievably well...

P.S.: I also live in Mass. the storm sucked HARD. I got lucky though, only lost power for two days.

Andre Dumas said...

eek I still can't below how some badly parts of MA got hit Kev. We near Boston barely got anything in comparison. Not even a loss of power, so I feel for you. You deserve to be much more angry and bitter at the snow : )

Tab said...

I hate Owen Glieberman - I don't think I've ever agreed with one of his reviews. The effects definitely still hold up, and what's more, they look on par (if not better) with the effects in the new film - even the CGI stuff. Carpenter's The Thing is in my Top 5 favs of all time.

Phil Fasso said...

Owen Glieberman is an idiot. He's a film snob who hates horror. Fortunately, your pointing out his article got me to write an open letter to him on my site: http://deathensemble.com/blog/?p=2947

Chris Hewson said...

Have you seen the The Thing remake yet Andre?

Emily C said...

Awesome article Andre!! I think The Thing's effects are still some of the best I've ever seen, and I really don't know how anyone could think otherwise!

We in CT also got hit really hard. Somehow I am one of the lucky ones who didn't lose power even though 88% of my town did, but we did lose internet for a week and that majorly sucked! .... it's amazing how much one can get done without internet!

Anonymous said...

I still think the new CGI oriented version will achieve a cult following just like Carpenters movie.

Andre Dumas said...

Awesome letter Phil, it made throw several victory fist pumps in the air.

Chris, I have not seen The Thing remake! I have a few trusted sources that say it wasn't that bad and actually pretty good.

Thanks Emily! Yeah I just realized last week that the last time I ever lost power was during Hurricane Bob back in ol' 91'. I'm glad, i don't think I'd be a very agreeable person if my power was out....

CashBailey said...

Yeah, fuck that guy. I suppose he's one of those 'CGI is automatically better' fools who thinks the effects in, say, VAN HELSING are better than THE THING.