Revisiting the Sentinel

The Sentinel is one of those movies that seldom gets brought up and gushed about. I have no idea why that is because I love it- and although it is slow in parts- I just can't get enough of the overall concept and that completely unsettling ending. The Sentinel was one of the first movies I ever reviewed and I feel that it in my early days as a horror blogger I just did not do it enough justice. So I'm back!

First off, if you've never seen it- I suggest watching it asap- it's on Netflix instant. Yes it's one of those "religious" horror movies- but since when have religious horror movies not been grossly entertaining? Sure no one gets possessed and vomits pea soup but naked fat people are copulating in bed while eating birthday cake!! Plus there is the best cat birthday party in history run by the coolest crazy cat old man neighbor ever. What's not to love?

The Sentinel does one of those things with the plot that interests me- and it actually reminded me a bit of Them! It starts off by making you think it's just another ghost story. A lonely yet unusually successful model in a big apartment where the rocking chandelier rouses her from sleep on a nightly basis. But we also know that it may not be a typical ghost story and we know this because of one simple fact, and this fact changes everything and takes it from a ghost story to a religious horror movie. The first resident of the hotel we "see" is a mute/ blind priest who looks out the window all day and night. He's not a ghost- but the fact that he is a priest suddenly makes things wildly interesting. So what is a sentinel anyways? Why it's a person who keeps watch or guards something of course. Hmmm.....keeps watch....a blind priest sitting by the window like he's watching something....I found the sentinel! But is that all there is? Of course not!

For starters the idea that the priest is blind but is a sentinel is very intriguing to me. An idea that becomes even more interesting when we get a good look at his eyes much further into the film.

Yes, white eyes indeed. Potentially when you are blind you see nothing or blackness. An eye that is white potentially "sees" while a black blindness is devoid of everything. I don't want to diverge off into a science lesson about the color spectrum but let's just say that those white eyes are very important when you think of what the priests actual job ends up being.

Now secondly- what would a priest need to keep watch on? What is the Church's main concern really? Keeping the evil out? The all too familiar battle of good vs. evil, the Devil vs God-Black vs. White! These are our first inklings for sure- but is that really the priests job? When we find that the priest is meant to be a guardian who guards the gates of hell, our idea of the priest and his job changes a bit. It's like the idea of Cerberus the 3 headed dog who guards he gates in hell in Dante's Inferno. He is not meant to keep anyone out- but to keep people in. To me this concept is extremely thought provoking- because it makes you wonder about the unity of heaven and hell and the working unity that the devil and God must have. Think about it- having Cerberus guard the gates of hell makes sense because he is a part of hell- and one of the devil's minions. But a priest on the other hand is essentially part of God. Sometimes I laugh because I imagine the devil shelling out some cash to God for letting him use one of their guardians. But it does make me wonder if the Devil and God secretly are friends! What else could it really mean? Is the Devil just being lazy? Possibly. Also- not only that but each Sentinel would have gone to hell if they did not consent to become the next sentinel due to their attempted suicides. By becoming the sentinel they are guaranteed a place in heaven- so the Devil is losing out on a potential member of hell. Sounds to me like the Devil is being seriously ripped off! Someone should let him know...

Anyways that is just a gigantic, mind twisting thought I had while re-watching the Sentinel last night and something I could never quite understand. I also finally understood that Alison's sudden suicide attempt in her teenage years completely makes sense.

If I came home one day- and found my father doing this---

And this woman was laughing at me and stuffing cake in her mouth

I would feel like this too--

When I first saw this I thought- well jeesh that was a little dramatic. But in all seriousness that would be one scarring experience! Poor Alison.

Upon my second viewing I also noticed something really really interesting. But before I get talking about it I have to talk about that wacky neighbor, Charles Chazen. If the first neighbor I ever met rang my door bell and it was this guy--

I would be extremely excited. Not only does he love cats, but he's as kooky as they come! He says the funniest things and he's one of those old men that I just can't get enough of. Of course that little thing about him being a demon or whatever is just a bit unfortunate but nevertheless he's still the best character in the entire movie. And I can't get enough of that cat birthday party.

Emmy Doomas and I tried to get a party hat on Monkey for my birthday- and it was the best thing in the world period. She kept it on for a whopping 3 seconds but it was still the best 3 seconds of my life so don't worry. Jezebel here has amazing patience however- and I'm obsessed with this picture....hahaha it really is the best thing ever. Now onto the thing I noticed!

Here is Jezebel the cat's birthday cake--and it's the EXACT same cake that her father was eating with those two whores. Scroll up and see for yourself if you don't believe me. The funny thing is- Alison certainly doesn't notice and attention is never brought to it throughout the rest of the movie. The only thing I can think of is that it was an attempt to get Alison to think once again back to that day- and then she would try to kill herself again. But it's just so curious- as to why A. they would ever think Alison would remember what the cake looked like and B. that it's never brought up or questioned. A very interesting observance if I do say so myself.

And now for your viewing pleasure; Beverly D'Angelo masturbating in front of company!

She is just so wild sometimes. Yikes that scene is almost too much for me to handle- it's way too uncomfortable and awkward....

And now to end this little talk of a movie I just love so much. An obvious similarity to another one of my favorite movies- Freaks.

Yes the director was under quite a bit of heat for using people with real deformities to use as demons during the film's climax. Whoops! It is pretty wrong when you think of it, I for one was not aware that people with physical deformities weren't allowed in heaven- or maybe I was but I blocked it- out who knows these days. Regardless, it's certainly a very old and outdated concept and is pretty horribly un PC to say that anyone who isn't physically pure is not granted access to heaven. All the more reason for me to believe that Heaven is full of a bunch of stuck up ninny's.

Anyways that's really all I can say after my thirdish watching of The Sentinel. The ending is one of the bleakest I have seen- but for some reason it still causes such great unease. Probably because Alison is really in a lose lose situation. Sure she gets one free pass to heaven- but just look what she gets to do for the rest of her life! Bit of a gyp if you ask me!

The Fashion Digest: Horror Faux Pas and How to Fix Them (Women's Dept.)

Well it's time again for a visit from your friendly neighborhood chubby pilgrim, Emmy Doomas. Today I have chosen the topic of Fashion Faux Pas which will be broken down into 2 parts; Woman's Department and Men's Department (just like a mall!) For this edition I've picked out a few character's from our favorite films and put them on the fashion police chopping block. But what good would criticism be if it wasn't constructive? So if you find that you have that same hideous pink sweater hanging in your closet- fear not, Emmy Doomas will come to the rescue and show you the proper way to rock it. And by the way- I realize that most of these choices have largely to do with the era and the "fashion" of that time- but get over it. IT'S THE FASHION DIGEST JUST LET IT LIVE.

Nancy Thompson

Granted Nancy may not have all the time in the world to pick out nice outfits seeing as she's stopped sleeping. But if she was really tired then she'd be waltzing to school in a pair of hideous pajamas or worse- naked. Therefore she was somewhat consciously picking out these outfits and this sweater/ shirt/ pants combo never fails to make me want to yak. I'm going to be honest with you all- I really despise the color pink. There is a time and a place for it(although it's a very small window of time)- and trying to defend yourself against a child molester who kills people in their dreams is most definitely NOT the time or the place.

A Nightmare on Sweater Vest Street

Oh Nancy, what poor bunny had to be killed to make your hideous looking sweater vest? Sweater vests and I have a volatile relationship. I want to like them so bad, but it seriously reminds me of prep school central. Prep is a tricky look to pull off, and poor Nancy here did not pull it off well. The color, fit, and length of this sweater vest is all wrong. Ditch anything pink, short and tight---or else you’ll wind up looking like a marshmallow peep vomited all over you. If you take the sweater vest route, think menswear, menswear, menswear! Keep the fit long and lean and the color neutral. Almost as if went into your much longer and much leaner boyfriend’s closet, and snuggled into one of his comfy vests! Here is a fine example, from the closet of one of my favorite boyfriends- Banana Republic!

Also, do not match your collared undershirt, with the color of the sweater vest (tsk tsk Nancy) I know I said in my previous post that monochrome is in, but in the case of collared shirt + sweater vest, monochrome=devil.

Yet, if you’re like me and see the impracticality of the sweater vest (hello, can we say cold arms!), I would like to point you into a great trend this year, as seen in Jcrew.

The belted cardigan look will keep you comfy and warm, while still oozing prepster chic. And unlike Nancy, you will escape those 9th grade homeroom vibes. (Never mind, the “I haven’t seen a hairbrush in a year vibe).

Julie James

I never noticed that Jennifer Love's Hewitt's character had a porn star name, but seeing as her boobs are ginormous in that little blue tank- it wouldn't surprise me if she was turning tricks on the weekend. Don't even get me started on Sarah Michelle there in the back. She better be going to the gym that's all I have to say. Ryan Phillipe on the other hand mmmmm wife beater, broken arm, muscles....YEAH! The 90s were my hey-day so I can't knock it that much seeing as I used to think I was the shit for rocking a water bra, and a tank top. That same water bra popped when I was trying to sew sequins on it to look like a Pussycat Doll (BEFORE the band started)--old habits die hard.

Death to Baby Doll ANYTHING

Anyone girl who roamed the halls of a public high school in the 90s, most likely subscribed to the Britney Spears House of Style at one point or another. This look, also known as "Oops, my shirt shrunk in the dryer, and looks like I'll have to wear it anyways” was a popular one, and can be blamed for the influx in belly button rings across the nation. Here’s our dear Brit, as seen in her brilliant and under appreciated video for Sometimes. Talk about a useless sweater!

I'm happy to say that the baby doll look has practically faded to embryonic status. Sure, you can still find some baby doll dresses here and there, and they can be a functional statement for girls under 25, on a really hot day. But thankfully cropped, too tight shirts, as supported by JLH here, have gone the way of the do-do. This shirt made for a brilliant Cancun wet t-shirt contest-like scene for JLH, but other than that---huge fashion faux pas! I would like to introduce JLH to a shirt that fits.

Provided you get it in the correct size (cough, cough ixnay the xsmallay), you go from slut to stylish in 2 shirt sizes!

Also, a tip for bigger breasted females who can't let go of V-necks, but don't want their ta-tas on display. Invest in some fun camisoles!
Look! A fun purple! Some creepy, stalker murderer will never lay eyes on your cleavage again!

Mother

The People Under the Stairs will always creep me out- and one of the bigger reasons is because the two psychos don't have real names- plus I hate them. I could write a whole post devoted to bad bondage outfits in horror and "Father" would be at the top of that list-BUT this is the woman's department so take your bondage suit elsewhere! Emily doesn't mind this look but I think she doesn't realize the movie takes place in the 90s and not the 60s. Or she is just too obsessed with "Mad Men" you decide.

Florals Don’t Have to Look like Your Mother’s Curtains!

When Andre gave me the pictures of this woman from the movie, “The People Under the Stairs”, I was quick to point out to her that I have a warm place in my heart for 60s inspired floral dresses. Sure, this woman needs to gain about 25 lbs to fill out these dresses, and the necklines would make any Amish woman proud, but she’s half way there!
In my opinion, here’s some lovely ladies from the cast of Mad Men, who do a floral dress right.

Florals should be bright and uplifting, and should have no resemblance to your mother’s living room curtains. They should make you think of the warms days of spring, daffodils, and fresh cut grass! Also, you need to balance the demureness of the dress, with a hot to trot neckline. Florals that can not live up to these standards can only be filed under one of the most horrific fashion faux pas ever to grace this earth: the muumuu!

Here’s a pretty example from Anthropologie:

Bold, lively print? Check! Fetching neckline? Check! Body flattering? Check!

Baby Firefly

The amount of holes Baby actually has in her jeans is ridiculous. I roamed the Internet far and wide and watched every clip possible to try to get a good pic but it was no use. I trust most of you know the situation however so I think it will be OK. But honestly. GET SOME NEW PANTS. I don't care if you are trailer trash- Baby was trailer trash in House of 1000 Corpses and she managed to dress just fine I believe. And let's not forget her Pocahontas garment in the last bit of the movie.

Ugh...yes I believe that deserved to be shot at.

*Don’t Let a Killer Rip Your Jeans----Let Seven for Mankind Do It for You!

Truth be told, I’ve never been into the hole in my jeans look. Back in the day, people used to patch up their jeans with fun little multi-color fabrics. Holes were unacceptable! Now, you can pay for jeans to come with holes, before you even wear them once?! Anarchy! I do get the trend though. Look at me, I’m not trying too hard! I don’t even care if my jeans have holes! Patches? Who needs patches?!!! Well lucky for all you cool people, almost every jeans designer nowadays makes ripped up jeans, also known by the euphemistic term, “distressed”. Now you can buy your way to that, “*A serial killer wielding a knife was chasing me” look! Of course, these are an upgrade from the jeans worn by this woman here. The key with distressed jeans is to minimize the holeage. A few light wear spots on your rear-end, some thoughtfully placed albeit small holes on your legs, and you’ve maxed out your distressed limit. There’s a fine line between distressed and trailer park tragic-ness. Here is a wearable pair from Seven Jeans:

Now I wouldn’t trot these out to the office or anything, but if you want to look really really relaxed in your already relaxed jeans, go the land of distressed!

* Don't mind Emmy Doomas' lack of horror movie knowledge and go with it!

Deep Red: A Study of Color and What Snooki Will Look Like When She's 50 Years Old.

If you caught me twittering today than you may have heard me mention that Deep Red was my second favorite Argento film. Behind Suspiria and before Phenomena. Today's version that I have watched unfortunately is not one I have seen- but I do believe it is the one I've heard many people refer to. It's an extended Italian version in which there are many scenes that suddenly switch from being dubbed in English to being subtitled in English over Italian actor's with much more interesting voices. Have you ever heard Daria Nicolodi's real voice? It's actually quite pleasing- compared to the awful dub she usually gets. It's a pity than that they only chose to do that on this version because to be honest it's just too long! All longness aside, I was still able to grasp the very idea of why I love this film so much; which of course is because it's so RED.

Since I'm obsessed with the beautiful colors in Suspiria and the way that the color red gets splashed violently and beautifully across the picture- it should be no surprise that I get the same feeling when I watch a movie called "Deep Red". The color red is present in sort of a different way than it is in Suspiria. I'd say the color was certainly more prominent and overpowering in Suspiria, while in Deep Red- the color red is usually confined to one specific area- which almost makes it's appearance "cut" across your senses. Take a look at some pristine examples...

Now wasn't that just a delight? Red, although a simple concept of a color to use in a horror film, really does wonders at jumping out at you. And Argento knows just how to use it. Now this isn't to say that he doesn't use red liberally in this film. He actually does much more than use it liberally but foreshadows it's very use in each and every murder scene. Check out this awesome little gem I found....

Notice the intense way Lady GaGa here is putting on her bright RED lipstick.

Think she has enough on? Now remember the way the red looks splashed on her lips as we take a look at each of the murder victims.

Pretty nifty huh? Sure these murder victims may not have been as exact when applying their lipstick but it's till pretty uncanny. This my friends is the very proof of beauty in blood, and beauty in horror and film making. Say what you will about his story work and plot holes- but Argento can make a picture happen.

The other very moving thing I find with Deep Red- is that I believe a large part of why the color is so significant has to do with the traumatic experience our murderer has- or the witness to the initial murder perhaps. Seeing a "deep red" blood like that has to terrify you. The red in this movie works the same way that it does in Hitchcock's, Marnie- except it is the audience that is more affected by it than the character. Due to this it makes sense then that all the red is "deep" since it remains so deeply engraved into our minds and into the witnesses mind.

Now the other reason I love this film has to do with those damn creepy dolls. Can you honestly think of anything creepier than coming into your house and finding this?

Yeah didn't think so. Oh wait except coming home to find this doll RUNNING at you.

Sweet Jesus this scene and this doll will never be fully out of my head. How does it run like that? What is the meaning of this atrocity?!

Alright so even though the film is packed to the brim with fantastic imagery there are still some confusing scenes, plot holes and just all around strangeness that we often find in Argento's films. But like I've said before when I watch an Argento film, I'm watching it for the artistry and the imagery rather than a plot that makes sense. I believe this is the trouble people get into when they are looking for love with Argento. They want to love him but can't get past those often strange plots that don't seem to make sense. My suggestion is- ignore most of the plot- and focus on the beauty!

Why else do I love this movie? Let's see... The super creepy opening of the film, the intentional gender mix up when showing close ups of the killer, the bathtub murder, the opening murder and the glass in the neck, the creepy little girl who sticks needles in lizards, the killers fascination with dolls, that damn creepy song, the killers fantastic death scene, the way the window eerily opens up and makes the steam in the bathroom disappear, and the death of Carlo- that happens right after this amazing picture of his face is shown to us.

Oh and look what I found.....a flash forward into Snooki's life.

This picture only proves my prediction that by the time she reaches 60 her self tanner will have absorbed into her skin killing all pigmentation and rendering her grey. Oh boy I can't wait!

Buy Deep Red at Horror Movie Empire!