What I Learned From Craig T. Nelson.

I count the seconds in between the lightning and the thunder. Craig T Nelson taught me how to do this. Whenever you see the lightning you count until you hear the thunder. If you count higher every time then the storm is moving further away. However, sometimes--like when your sister starts a relationship with the TV, and you start the counting process that Craig T Nelson taught you, the storm gets closer and closer. And then, a tree eats you.

And that really sucks.