I've been talking a lot lately about my quest for disturbing movies. The truth is that I am not on the hunt to find the most disturbing movie out there --well not entirely anyways. One of my ongoing experiments as I write this blog is uncovering what it is about certain horror movies that makes us seek them out. Entertainment and the exhilarating feeling of being scared comes to mind but what about those movies that really push the envelope? The movies that have been banned, that have been partially responsible for the demise of a director's career. Why do we want to see a film that has made people physically ill?
Unfortunately, I do not know the answer to that question--not yet. In my journey to uncover the most disturbing films out there, I am slowly compiling my very own list. Somewhere in my beginning quest to seek out horror films, I became interested in those banned and controversial films. Reading about them filled me with a strange sense of cockiness. It was like reading about someone's magnificent feat of eating 24 donuts in 10 minutes and shaking it off as no big deal. "So what? I could do that....probably", is what you say, unless you're diabetic, in which case cockiness doesn't quite fit your persona (only cocky people can eat sugar). So there I was reading about how someone was SO disturbed by Cannibal Holocaust that they shut themselves in a closet for 3 days and all I could think was, "So what? I could probably watch that movie no big deal".
And so that's in a way the immediate cause for seeking out these disturbing films. But what about the underlying cause? What are we really hoping to achieve from watching a film like that?
Every "Most Disturbing" list that I have sought out has been responsible for building up my disturbing movies queue. Some movies I can agree with, others I find myself scratching my head about. In the long run, I hope to compile an ultimate list of what I think can actually be given the name "most disturbing". Of course, we all know after the Top 10 Willies experiment and Bravos 100 Scariest Movie Moments, that lists are very individualized. And to that I say---Oh well. I will make a most disturbing list because I want to.
Do you know what one of my most popular keyword searches is?
Of course, that keyword search always brings them to this post, which makes me a little ashamed. Maybe that's the real reason I'm doing this, to give those people who search for disturbing moments, really something to be disturbed by. Granted, a puppet puking up leeches IS still quite disturbing in my mind--but ah well.
So join me in my quest in exploring the bottom trenches of the film world. The movies that no one wanted to see twice and the films that made people want to gouge their eyes out. Exploration Disturbia begins now.
....well actually it's been happening for awhile, but now that we're all in the "know" it's kind of starting now.