Way to Go Dracula
Surprised are you? Have I really picked one of the most notorious vampires as my target of this way to go moment? Believe it folks- Dracula did some pretty stupid things in the Monster Squad none of which have anything to do with his terrible bat morphing skills
But I won't get into that because who knows if that was really his fault or Sean's Dad's-- regardless- fly a little faster next time so that doesn't happen again thanks.
I will begin with the fact that Dracula chooses some of the worst monsters to join his squad. You have any classic movie monster at your command and you pick a Mummy??? What purpose of evil does he serve? He walks slow, he's comprised of dust and bandages- and as our friends in the Monster Squad show us- all you have to do is unwrap him and he's done for. Plus when the other monsters were out getting shit done, what is the Mummy doing?
Yup. Hiding out in a kid's closet. Nice teammate choice Count.
Now you have the others- Wolfman- he's probably the best man for the job, The female vampires? Tantilizing scary and there are three of them- another good choice. But Frankenstein's monster? What part of the movie Frankenstein did you not understand Dracula? Frankenstein actually has a heart- and if he actually has a heart he's not going to help you get anything. He's going to become friends with some kids and have some fun- unlike you and your loser monsters. And also this choice leads to your demise so yeah. Poor form.
The only redeeming factor in things that involve Frankenstein is that Dracula was smart enough to pack his own spark plugs in his scepter- always prepared.
The 3rd thing wrong with Monster Squad Dracula, is that he has the worst strategy in the world. Some wimpy kid has the sacred diary that you need in order to bring evil to the world and what do you do?
Call him? Really? You're frickin Dracula- you are the servant of the devil- I think you can come up with something a little better than calling your victim and leaving a message. Hah I never noticed that his Mom thought he said "Van Halen" instead of Van Helsing... classic. Anyways- Way to go Dracula- you know who's more macho than you? Horace. That's right Fat Kid.