I thought we had it all. I thought we had a mutual understanding that could only be classified as the best relationship in the history of the world. You did your thing and I did mine. You supplied me with DVDs and streaming movies and I watched them and cooked you dinner. Yes, sometimes your DVDs would be be a little scratched or a bit finger-printy, but the replacement usually fixed things (except for that one time I went through 3 replacement DVDs of Cloverfield before giving up.......).
After this weekend however, I'm thinking we need to call it quits. I was looking forward to the time we would be spending together. Long hours of laying in bed with you and all that you provided. Watching Tourist Trap, watching streaming movies, tickle fests, etc. But then when I opened my envelope with Tourist Trap I was appalled to find that the disc had been severed down the middle. A giant crack that was about 2 inches away from separating the DVD in two pieces. This is unacceptable. I've allowed past damaged DVDs to go but this crosses the line. How on earth does this evade someone's attention?
And then, when I call your attention to the problem you send me an email--the same email that I always get when something is damaged and this time it made me angry.
|Sorry about that!|
We hate it when that happens! Despite our best efforts, sometimes bad discs get out the door or good discs get damaged in transit. Unfortunately, that's what happened with Tourist Trap.
If you've requested a replacement, we'll send it to you as soon as possible. In the meantime, please send that unplayable disc back to us.
Thanks very much!
–The Netflix Team
I'm sorry, YOU hate it when that happens? Since when is it about you? This about me and the 55th time I've had to report a damaged or unplayable disc. You keep sending me these cookie cutter apologies and that's great and all but you're not listening to me! You keep making the same mistake over and over again and it's really busting my chops.
But you know what kills me the most? There's nowhere to complain about these foul shenanigans. You're just a black hole of movie titles and FAQ's about stupid things that don't matter. How about instead of a vacant apology, you offer me a free month of Netflix? How about instead of saying, "Broken disc? Oh shoot, sorry!" you say... "Let me send you two free ones" ? I don't pay 9 bucks a month to get ONE DVD that works when I should be getting 5.
As if that wasn't enough, I just now decided that it was finally time to watch Oldboy. I was excited, I was nervous and then.....dubbing happened. Yes, DUBBING. What kind of vile world do we live in where dubbing is the accepted method for comfortable moving watching? This is highly unacceptable and embarrassing. It caused me to turn the film off at once and put the actual DVD on my queue. I can only hope that when the DVD arrives, it isn't broken, scratched or covered in a layer of some 14 year old's grubby finger prints and/or semen.
Yes Netflix, I've had it up to here. Let me make it clear to you. The next time something like this happens, I'm taking my business elsewhere. So clean up your act, or you'll never get to have a tickle fest with me ever again.