Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments: Watched, Reviewed and Completed.

Strike up the band, get the hanging munchkin down from the tree and make me a sandwich--I have watched and reviewed every movie on Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments list and lived to tell the tale. I know I gripe a lot about what Bravo has chosen to highlight and yadda yadda yadda- but the truth is I actually owe a large portion of my horror movie mania to Bravo. I wouldn't call myself a traditional horror fan, who tells stories about how they've loved horror movies since then can remember and what not. Sure I did my community service for the horror world by looking at the VHS covers at the video store and what not--but the big difference was, that I was terrified of them. I wasn't in any kind of hurry to be able to rent them, and I usually muted any horror movie that found its way to me via the TV set. The curiosity was there but I could just never pull through and watch an entire scary movie.

I did however from time to time, catch Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments program that they would air every Halloween season. Every snippet of a movie that they showed, sparked a little bit of curiosity. I wanted to watch these films and experience what it was that truly made them a scary moment. Using my mother's Netflix account, I began ordering the movies I was most curious about. Suspiria,and The Last House on the Left to name a few- and even though they left me feeling off and in the case of Last House on the Left--dirty, I just couldn't get enough.

So began my great intrigue into the horror world and I made sure to catch every showing of the Scariest Movie Moments to ensure that I knew all the classics, and all the moments that made horror so appealing. When I started this blog its main purpose was for me to watch and review every movie on that list as part of my ultimate horror crash course. With a few months of unemployment under my belt and a brand new Netflix account, I was ready to finally watch and review all those movies that I had wanted to see for so long. Over the course of 9 months, I have achieved this goal. The goal would have been achieved quicker but then something quite mysterious happened.

I started to realize that there was a plethora of great and scary movies out there that were not on the list at all. Therefore my Bravo queue was often overruled by the other scary movies queue. This of course welcomes the debate that Bravo's list is pretty shitty if it doesn't include some truly great pieces of horror. While I both agree and disagree with the sentiment- I think that Bravo's list is actually pretty damn good- and I'll tell you why. The key word is "moments". It's not a list about scariest movies rather, it is a list about individual moments that sparked a true sense of fear within you. I tried to go through the list and find ones that I didn't think belonged, but to be honest, I couldn't. Sure I question the ranking for many, but all of them are great representations of cold and brutal fear- at least at some point during their running time.

The program may be the perfect way to get people interested in horror movies because it has the ability of getting people hooked on the movie after only about a minute or so of talking about it. My one main gripe about it however is that you do get a sense that the "celebrities" talking about the movies know little about it- which is at most times insanely aggravating. Other than that, I find myself unable to say anything bad. Sure they missed out on some other great scary moments, but for the most part, it's a pretty solid list.

Through my journey I've come across some truly great movies that I would have never known about, and the list did of course cause my favorite genre of film to be horror- so I just can't diss it man. I owe my horror fandom to Bravo TV, and also my inner gay mandom thanks to Project Runaway....and also my inner chefdom thanks to Top Chef. I guess I owe my life to Bravo and I never realized it. These days they spit out more scariest movie moments and even scarier movie moment lists like crazy- but my heart will always belong to this first endeavor and the way it established my hunger for horror.

Here's the list with all the links to the reviews. Check out the ones you've never seen and enjoy yourself. Try to refrain from dissing the list--it is like my inspiration and all.....jeesh.

Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments

1. Jaws
2. Alien
3. The Exorcist
4. Psycho
5. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
6. The Shining
7. The Silence of the Lambs
8. Carrie
9. Night of the Living Dead
10. Wait Until Dark
11. Audition
12. Misery
13. Scream
14. Halloween
15. Freaks
16. The Omen
17. A Nightmare on Elm Street
18.The Haunting
19. Hellraiser
20. The Ring
21. Jacob's Ladder
22. Don't Look Now
23. Rosemary's Baby
24. Suspiria
25. Phantasm
26. Se7en
27. Frankenstein
28. When a Stranger Calls
29. The Serpent and the Rainbow
30. The Blair Witch Project
31. Friday the 13th
32. Pet Semetary
33. The Fly
34. The Hitcher
35. Aliens
36. Cape Fear
37. House on Haunted Hill
38. Peeping Tom
39. Dawn of the Dead
40. Black Sunday
41. The Hills Have Eyes
42. An American Werewolf in London
43. It's Alive!
44. The Game
45. The Wicker Man
46. The Sentinel
47. Nosferatu
48. John Carpenter's The Thing
49. Diabolique
50. The Last House on the Left
51. The Dead Zone
52. The Phantom of the Opera
53. Demons
54. The Changeling
55. The Vanishing
56. Single White Female
57. House of Wax
58. Cujo
59. Fatal Attraction
60. The Beyond
61. The Devil's Backbone
62. The Wolf Man
63. Deliverance
64. Near Dark
65. The Tenant
66. Marathon Man
67. Duel
68. The Black Cat
69. Re-Animator
70. The Stepfather
71. The Sixth Sense
72. Them!
73. Blood Simple
74. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
75. The Candyman
76. The Evil Dead
77. Signs
78. The Brood
79. Dracula
80. Poltergeist
81. The Howling
82. The Terminator
83. The Others
84. Blue Velvet
85. Blood and Black Lace
86. The Wizard of Oz
87. Black Christmas
88. Invasion of the Body Snatchers
89. Alice Sweet Alice
90. The Night of the Hunter
91. Shallow Grave
92. Village of the Damned
93. Pacific Heights
94. Child's Play
95. Jurassic Park
96. The Birds
97. Cat People
98. Zombie
99. Creepshow
100. 28 Days Later

Blue Velvet: A Strange World Indeed

My journey through Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments has come to a close with a 2nd and complete viewing of David Lynch's Blue Velvet. Originally, Blue Velvet was the 3rd DVD that I received when I began my Netflix account back in August, of which the sole purpose was to rent movies on the list that I had never seen before. Perhaps it was a particularly nice day or my head just wasn't in the game--whatever it was I could not for the life of me get past the first 20 minutes without my mind wandering. I attribute this to the fact that you have to be in a certain mood to watch a David Lynch film. I know this because I also attempted to watch Eraserhead not long before my first attempt at Blue Velvet and it didn't work then either. Maybe it's just a summer thing, or maybe I hadn't come to grips with something as strange and unusual as the surreal world of David Lynch yet. But no matter, spring has awoken this ability and I am now able to watch and sort of comprehend what has happened before my eyes.

In all seriousness, Blue Velvet may be the perfect representation of a non-horror movie that sticks with you the way that a horror movie should. The feelings of disgust, brutality and complete and utter fear when Dennis Hopper is involved is quite evident throughout.

Although Bravo only highlights the initial rape/dry humping/ nitrous oxide scene, I think the thing about the film is that after that scene happens, the uncomfortableness that we felt while it was going on, never truly leaves us.

Kyle Maclachlan plays Jeffrey Beaumont, a young man returning home to his town of Lumberton USA after his father suffers a stroke. After cutting through a field, Jeffrey finds a severed ear

and brings it to the local police. Unable to get any information, Jeffrey is told an important clue by the detective's daughter (played by the birdish Laura Dern) who hints about a nightclub singer who may be involved with the crime. Following this lead, Jeffrey is subsequently thrown into a dark and dangerous world surviving on the underside of this quaint little town. Plus Dennis Hopper is a crazy mother fucker.

Perhaps the most terrifying thing, at least for me, was the sheer insanity that is Dennis Hopper. The rape scene is uncomfortable and painfully awkward. It's one of those scenes that would make you turn red if you were watching it with your parents--heck, I turned red just by watching it alone. I even turned my sound down a little to avoid embarrassing questions from my roommate or worse--neighbors. Aside from the embarrassment, it also does something simply amazing. It puts us in the exact same situation as Jeffrey, trapped in the closet and unable to react or do anything about what is enfolding before our eyes. It is the subtle things like this, that truly make me giddy about films and additionally makes me hope that I'm in a David Lynch kind of mood more often.

The other things I loved were the little touches, little by nature but big in the overall scope of themes. Bug imagery and blue imagery for instance were my favorite. The termites below ground in the beginning, giving way to the overarching theme of the darker, less pleasant side of a seemingly idyllic neighborhood. Then there is of course my favorite thing- a terrible kind of beauty that is evoked when we see a beautiful robin chomping on a bug at the films end. The list goes on- and don't forget about all that blue stuff. From the more obvious song Blue Velvet, and Dorothy's robe- to the less obvious police sirens and usage of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Even the town's name Lumberton has the word blue scrambled up inside of it. It's a blue kind of town and a blue kind of movie. Sadness, beauty, happiness....I never thought until now how interesting of a color blue is- at times standing for both happiness (blue skies), sadness, and even as a form of reward (blue ribbons!). It's all so wonderful and you could sit around and think for days probably about underlying meanings, and symbolism and never get bored.

Even at *gasp* two hours, I found myself enthralled and terrified at everything that was happening and insanely curious to see how it would all play out. There is no big revelation or conclusion or twist about the crime. Pretty much everything we assumed is true and happening- but that doesn't mean the film doesn't keep us excited about the rest of the happenings.

Some of the creepier moments are easy to find, the final discovery of Frank Booth's last victims--utterly terrifying and so strange and wonderful all at the same time. Then there's the insanely weird feeling you receive upon watching pale faced pimp daddy Ben,

lip syncing into a work light for the brothel and unwilling guests- and BONUS the even more awkward hooker dancing alone on top of the car while Dennis Hopper puts on lipstick and kisses Jeffrey. Good stuff.

And a HUGE huzzah for the return of the marble rye lady from Seinfeld,

I'm beginning to think she has more cameos than Dick Miller. Also if one ever questions Dennis Hopper's true insanity, look no further than his best friend--Brad Dourif who is probably the surest sign out there of a loose cannon.

Naturally I'm more pleased and thrilled than ever, that I was able to experience Blue Velvet while in the right mind set and I cannot wait to be in a similar mind set to watch some more Lynchian classics. Bring on the cow fetuses and awkward dancing radiator chicks with chubby cheeks. I'm ready!

The Black Cat: Dracula, Frankenstein ('s monster) and a Cat, All In One Movie. YES.

I’ll tell ya something. It felt extremely good to be watching The Black Cat that we were all intended to see and not this. Although both movies refer to Poe’s story of the same name, both films have little if anything to do with the original story. Fulci comes closer with a hanging cat, and securely bricklaying our heroine in the wall but, Edgar G. Ulmer‘s version has absolutely nothing to do with the story at all. In fact it has been said that Poe’s name was only attached to the film to gain popularity for the film. Resemblance to the original story or not, The Black Cat is absolutely wonderful. It’s almost shocking to see some of the creepy images this early on in movie history and certainly stands as a film that uses the art of shadows to it’s advantage. As you know from my Night of the Hunter review, shadows and “interesting” angles are representative of the German expressionism era, the Black Cat however branches out a little more and uses something very creepy known as dead women suspended in glass cases (most likely used for sexual gratification). Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm. And I know what you’re thinking and it is NOT like this.

It’s better. And not ruined by awful Mr. Freeze puns.

Our plot centers on Peter and Joan, a pair of honeymooners who have passed on the obligatory honeymoon to Niagra Falls, for the less romantic country of Hungary. On the train ride they share a train compartment with Dr. Vitus Werdegast played by the eternal Dracula, Bela Lugosi, who claims he is traveling to reacquaint with an old friend. Once in Hungary, the trio gets into a wild bus/car thing which gets into a horrible accident due to the “rain” but probably due more to their loose cannon of a Hungarian driver. Joan is badly injured and Vitus and Peter carry her to Vitus' friend's manor. Boris Karloff makes his entrance as the stony and menacing Poelzig, who reminds me of someone else but we’ll get to that later. Anyways. Poelzig is actually a Satan worshipper, and has been sacrificing young women and keeping them suspended in glass cases in his basement. We soon realize that Poelzig is less of a man to play chess with and more of a man to run away from immediately.

My favorite part about The Black Cat aside from the fantastic images,

the fabulous shadows

and the engrossing modern set pieces, is the fact that Bela Lugosi is really just Dracula in a really nice suit,

and Boris Karloff is just Frankenstein's monster with some phonics lessons under his belt. I suppose it speaks more to the fact that these men are incredibly iconic and as much as they may try to take on different roles- their pasts forever rule their careers. I really had a nice laugh about it all, because it was just pretty damn hilarious. Bela Lugosi is this odd yet entrancing kind of figure who has a creepy habit of stroking those that do not belong to him. He’s actually just like Dracula except instead of fearing crucifixes, he fears cats.

Boris Karloff does a bit better, since it’s unusual to hear him speak full sentences, but his first few appearances still brought back too many familiar feelings.

This screen grab of the two staring at each other is a prime example of how a few years have nothing on these guys. We may as well just call this film Frankenstein's monster without his shoes on vs Dracula.

But yes yes, I suppose these two do ending up moving away from their previous characters. We finally get to feel sympathetic for Bela Lugosi, and Boris Karloff is evil based on his own doings and not a mad scientist's. The main thing to focus on however, is that the ending of The Black Cat may be one of the first instances of the impending doom that is Saw and Hostel. The ending torture scene makes me cringe, even though we see nothing- but it still provides that feeling of skin crawling goodness. Of course we have evolved to showing everything possible, where as The Black Cat is classy and refined and old…..which is most likely why but whatever. The point is, it’s extremely interesting to see this kind of scene so early on in horror movie history. It's almost jolting to see such a scene in such an old and classic film. It reminded me of how amazing and eye opening it was to actually see a face being surgically removed in Eyes Without a Face.

Overall, The Black Cat is a film that one twitter friend referred to as shitting all over the Universal Monster movies. I agree that it is one hell of an enticing film that does not leave me on the fence about whether or not I like it based on the fact that is a classic. Not all films are great or classics just because they are in black and white- but The Black Cat is unquestionably tantalizing to my horror senses. Remember, do not accidentally rent Fulci’s the Black Cat unless you want to and make sure you see this instead. The women suspended in the glass cases are waiting for you.

Dracula: I Don't Trust a Man Who Drives His Own Stagecoach

I started watching Dracula months ago but stopped due to the fact that I had been watching an unnecessarily high amount of vampires movies. Don't get me wrong- I love vampires but for some reason while seeing the typical Transylvania, the villagers who freak out about going to Count Dracula's castle and Bela Lugosi's cracked out facial expressions just didn't sit well with me. I do know that many people don't love this installment of the Universal Monster's collection- I myself much prefer The Wolf Man, so that too added to my constant dread. However, I signed a contract with myself promising that I would indeed watch every movie on the Scariest Moments List and so on this rainy afternoon I have strapped myself down and watched that lovely hour and 14 minutes of family fun.

I never realized how un-alluring Lugosi's Dracula really was. His face is comical in most aspects and he looks more like he's constipated or maybe just telling a funny joke inside his head and less like he's hypnotizing women with his sexy vampire eyes.

I'm not sure what he was, he just seemed so stagnant or something. It's a step away from the Count Orlok vampire, in that Lugosi is not a gruesome representation and we are not repulsed by his image. Lucy even finds him enticing plus he's not exactly...ugly. But there was still something so uninteresting about him! And dare I say it--boring? He had the unfortunate blunder of being neither alluring nor terrifying- which Dracula of course should be both.

There were some rather interesting bits but for the most part I was just surprised how much was hidden. The deaths of crew on the ship we never saw- but we were given this really nice shadow of a dead crew member slouched on the ship's wheel which I loved.

Other than that however, most things just seemed so removed. The atmosphere didn't feel as creepy as it should and I was very disheartened when we did not get to see at least Dracula's eyes while he was being staked through the heart. For all I knew it could have been one of his brides getting staked.

So unfortunately I won't be spending tons of time on this one. It's a film that remains important for it's impact on the iconic character of Dracula- yet when stood next to Nosferatu and even it's brother's in the Universal Monster's collection, it seems to fall flat. I just longed for something spookier I guess and although I do understand this film was one of the first movies that brought 100% horror to audiences (it did not contain humor or some kind of twist at the end that explained the terror) it still didn't affect me as much as I had hoped it would. Plus I still can't get past those awful bats! Anyways....yeah. Hahah John Landis calling out the armadillos! More proof that we were made to be together.

Don't Let "The Black Cat" Fool You

Yet again my life is foiled by my shoddy attention to detail. Apparently when I was busy readying my 1oo Scariest Movie Moments movies in my queue I failed to realize that the classic The Black Cat with Bela Lugosi

was in the dreaded saved pile and that Fulci's dreaded movie The Black Cat had snuck into the queue.

I watched the entire movie- half asleep mind you but I did watch it, and could not for the life of me figure out what possible scene those morons could have selected for their list. Upon a quick youtube check I was floored.

Of course, this has happened to me before only the time in question involved thinking they put the original The Fly when they actually put Cronenberg's The Fly on the list. No one got upset then because both films are fantastic. But this? This thing. Is....well let's just say that if I was having Fulci doubts before, The Black Cat did absolutely nothing to remedy the situation. Here's what I suppose the movie was about.

Some crazy guy who needs to trim his eyebrows can make his cat do things...or the cat was possessed by an evil spirit who knows. Also the cat at some point hangs itself with a tiny noose? I'm all for movies about cats but this was just atrocious. To save yourself the pain and agony I would suggest seeing The Black Cat we were all meant to see. Or at the very least, listening to the fantastic song of the same name.

Shallow Grave: Proof That Ewan McGregor Can't Be Good Looking All the Time.

My 100 Scariest Moments challenge was almost thwarted when I rechecked my Netflix queue to ensure that the few remaining movies I had left to review, were nestled at the very top of the list. It was to my great dismay that Shallow Grave had been moved to the dreaded Saved list. A list that is responsible for some of the greatest confusions and disappointments my life has ever seen. These DVDs are available you know, so why on earth can you not stock them in your towering DVD warehouse? My sister was able to get Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveler for Christ's sake, what the hell is your problem Netflix? Never one to settle for disappointment- I immediately remedied the situation and bought the movie for a few dollars on good old Half.com (Which one of you lucky readers will WIN when my contest happens. Soon my friends. Soon.) and the rest is history.

Danny Boyle wins over many people's hearts- whether they be; drug addicts, infected faux zombie lovers and even slumdogs, so it was no surprise that I would most likely be enjoying Shallow Grave. It has that hottie Ewan McGregor for crying out loud! Of course they really tricked me on that one when I discovered that hottie Ewan McGregor looked like a close relative of Budnick from Salute Your Shorts.

Sick! Regardless, Shallow Grave is a decent thriller/dark comedy/murder paranoia mystery or whatever these kinds of movies are called these days, your guess is as good as mine really. The point is- I had never heard of this movie and look at me now, recommending it for your sleepovers and lonely nights on the couch. Not a horror movie of course, but just a solid, wacky, witty kind of movie. You know- the kind most people love.

Our story follows the lives of three roommates looking for a 4th to fill the void of their outrageously spacious and nice apartment. I found myself filled with the same kind of jealously that I get when watching Friends. Why are these people living in such a nice place- and how can they possibly be having that much fun? It's all very mysterious....but anyways, they find a 4th, he seems also mysterious, and after he doesn't come out of his room for a long while, they kick in the door. There they find his dead body and a suitcase filled to the brim with pounds and pounds of Pounds. Making a hasty group decision- they keep the money and get rid of the man's body, sawing off the hands and feet, removing the teeth and placing him in a grave--a SHALLOW grave because Ewan McGregor is lazy. While they attempt to get back to their regular lives- things start happening, rifts in friendships, suspicions, and a couple of really brutal thugs. See, I knew they couldn't possibly have fun all the time.

What I found to be most thrilling, was the very presence of anxiety and suspicion. I remember once having a dream where I knew I had done something wrong, but continued to run despite the consequences. A feeling that fills you up with such an unbearable amount of unease that it almost becomes difficult to watch. Watching David's descent into madness and paranoia is just as thrilling and as anxiety provoking. The poor lad did of course draw the short straw, meaning that he would have to be the one to saw off the hands and feet and knock out the teeth. And while he was put through all that- whiny Ewan McGregor couldn't even dig a deep enough grave!? I suppose if we are to sympathize with anyone in this, it must be David, but in the end we begin to fear him as well. It was a curious feeling, almost wishing that our main character's would just get caught already!

The scene where David does the dirty work is actually kind of hard to watch, which is extremely surprising seeing as we are not even given a single look at the gore of what surely is happening. It is undoubtedly a less is more kind of technique and it completely works. Also shockingly brutal are the scenes with the thugs and what they do even after they get their answers. Then of course the ending scene, which was eye widening mad! Just mad I tell you. But fantastic. Also not to be missed are some great symbolic instances of color! Red is prominent and striking, and although it is not beautiful, it is still a delight.

Someday when Netflix puts this back in their warehouse, I will encourage you all to give it a watch. It will do it's duty in fulfilling your need for entertainment, while also causing you to become very suspicious of your friends and roommates...

Oh, yes. I believe in friends. I believe we need them. But if one day you can't trust them any more, well, what then... What then?

The Night of the Hunter: Bob Mitchum, Your Friendly Neighborhood Stalker.

It's funny how the movies that I put off for last on my Scariest Movie Moments list, are really the ones that are surprising me the most. While I hadn't heard a lot about The Night of the Hunter, I did know that it involved a chase and pursuit with Robert Mitchum in the driver's seat. Although Cape Fear came after The Night of the Hunter, I was still a bit dubious that we would have another Bob Mitchum makes us feel creepy moment on our hands. Bob Mitchum made me feel creepy sure--but the real heart of the matter comes with the quieter moments. There are moments of fear so strangely haunting and strikingly beautiful and odd, that it seems like the film came straight out of the German Expressionism era--think The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and even Nosferatu. Shadows and odd angles galore--I even tweeted that I had trouble capturing all the images that struck me- because there were just too darn many.

After their father Ben is sentenced to hang for robbing a bank and killing two men, John and Pearl are left with their mother and a doll that's hiding their father's stolen money. While in prison, Ben is bunked up with bogus preacher Harry Powell who learns of the money and tries to weasel the hiding place out of his bunk mate. Ben leaves him with the Bible verse "And a little child shall lead them" (which you may remember from everyone's favorite flawed horror movies).

Powell ventures off after his release to find Ben's family, marry his wife and get the kids to spill the beans. John catches on rather quickly to Powell's intentions while other's get caught up in his boisterous preaching. It becomes up to John to protect his father's secret and to protect his younger sister's life as well.

As I said before, the real star of the movie is the cinematography and the absolutely breathtaking shots. It's almost a surprising element of the film- as at first I figured we'd be settled in to watch an hour and 30 mins of Bible verses and your standard Bob Mitchum with his wonky accent and stalkerish vibes. And then all of a sudden you are a shown a shot that just wakes you up. Little touches like, Robert Mitchum singing hymns and calling out for the children- while the camera does this fantastic shot that zooms right in on just where the children are hiding.

Then there is perhaps the greatest moment of subtle eerie-ness that I have seen. The shot of Shellie Winters' character dead in the bottom of the lake tied to a car.

I looked away for a minute then clicked back on the film screen and my eyes practically popped out of my head. There's this fantastic kind of whistling music , and seeing her hair like that and also just being terrified that that is what happened to her is completely mind blowing. It's the perfect example of kind of quiet horror that I'm referring to.

Then there is of course just the element of complete and utter astonishment at Robert Mitchum's scary preaching, and his solo talks with God. Add in the hysterical lynch mob at the end, the constant singing of hymns and the quickness with which Bob Mitchum is able to make his move on the family- and you have a full hour and half of sheer terror.

I cannot tell you how madly in love with Rachel Cooper I was, or how pleased I was to see things come full circle from the opening scene to the closing one. Just know that this film completely took me by surprise. For those of us that can appreciate a classic and beautiful black and white film- look no further. Heck, even if you have seen it, watch it again and bathe in it's glory. To remind you of this fact, or to spark your interest here are some of those fantastic screen grabs I was blabbing about.

Cujo: Or, That Time I Rescued the Snakes, But Didn't Want To.

I've been avoiding Cujo since the dawn of man. Taking on Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments list and looking at that list every day to decide what to watch, always created a sense of dread whenever I would get to Cujo. I'd compare it quite easily to the scene where Pee Wee Herman comes across a burning pet store and each and every time that he passes the snake tank makes a disgusted noise and continues on to save some other animal instead. It's not until he saves the monkey, the puppies, the birds and even the goldfish, that Pee Wee finally realizes he cannot put it off any longer. In an attempt to save himself more than one trip, Pee Wee swoops all the snakes at once, runs outside and collapses in a heap of anguish and terror--the snakes scurrying off into the streets. And so begins my rescue mission, to finally and unhappily watch Cujo- which may as well just be called "The dog dies and you feel sad about it".

In most cases, especially when we are getting down to about 5 movies left to review on the list--I know very little about what I am about to watch. All I knew about Cujo was that a big St. Bernard attacks Dee Wallace and her kid while trapped in a car. I was disheartened almost immediately, upon realizing that Cujo is only a mean dog because he gets bitten by a bat and suffers from rabies. Silly old me just figured he was some crazy mean dog. Not someones cute and cuddly pet! This makes everything worse because I'm dreading the obvious demise of the poor beast. But then, something miraculous happened. I realized that Cujo getting rabies is just like a loved one turning into a zombie. They aren't your loved ones anymore, they are zombies and they are going to eat your face. Understanding this fact is key if you happen to enjoy dogs and don't like seeing dogs be mean and get killed. Am I spoiling anything here? I don't think so but I could be wrong. Well I guess if you didn't know that Cujo would eventually have to be "put down" you are just fooling yourself.

Plot wise what is there to discuss? Hmm Dee Wallace has an affair with a smarmy guy, her husband leaves for a while. And of course- after he leaves, Dee Wallace gets trapped inside a Pinto while a rabid St. Bernard prowls around outside. And well that's pretty much it folks.

I was surprised at how long it took for the ball to get rolling. Cujo gets rabies almost immediately but moment of actual attack doesn't come until much, much later. I guess I could do without most of the movie and the Pinto scene was actually done fairly well. I do agree with the Scariest moment on this one because it's one of those, punch the person sitting closest to you moments where you are really not expecting it (Think chum bucket in JAWS). I love how the POV camera makes you think the dog is creeping up behind Dee Wallace and then BAM! Cujo in the window! It's crazy. And all that slobber and blood and eye snot....jeez. That dog was fucking nuts. I like to think I know a little something about rabies, but I didn't know that rabies caused dogs to bite off door handles and bust through glass. I thought animals just became lethargic and stumbled around and bit someone if they were stupid enough to approach. Maybe Cujo is like the Dawn of the Dead remake zombies. He defies all conventions.

Oh. And word to the wise. Do not attempt to watch this film while eating Brie cheese. His eye snots are probably the worst thing to happen since Brundlefly's decaying body. That was some thick, thick snot. Ugh.

One very interesting thing that I did enjoy was that Dee Wallace accomplishes everything on her own. People talk about these women empowering movies and yadda yadda yadda, but no one really talks about Cujo. My first impression was an eye roll when I realized that the husband would be returning at some point and probably to save the day. Dee Wallace trapped in a car after all, does not leave much room for a heroine. But the ending had me very surprised and very pleased. The fact that no one helps her out of the situation except herself is lovely. Even the last scare was taken care of by Dee's character and that was pretty darn impressive. Of course there is that whole woman has affair thing....but well......this incident only proves that she doesn't need some boring husband--or something.

So in conclusion, watching Cujo was less painful than I thought. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it either. I did find it to be mostly boring and I still felt bad for Cujo, but it's an animal death that you just have to accept and move on with. St. Bernard's were always a little too slobbery for my taste anyways. But oh also-what happened to the kid whose dog it was? Maybe I was caught up in my Brie cheese and missed it but I'm pretty sure he just disappeared. Speaking of which, one thing about this affair situation. The mother of the boy who disappears is obviously trying to escape her life and in the process leave her husband and child. She provides a nice foil for Dee Wallace who simply- deals with things and ends up trapped in a Pinto. In the end however, Dee Wallace's character is capable of living her life without a dependence or without abandoning her son---and that my friends, makes all the difference. But affairs are bad so don't have one.

Blood and Black Lace: Red Goes Best With Blood

After watching several Fulci films and trying to figure out why I did not enjoy them, I have come to an immediate conclusion---Mario Bava. Bava is perhaps the main reason that I am so moved by the beautiful imagery of deep red blood. Sure, if you love Italian horror you have to also love the triumvirate that is, Bava, Argento and Fulci, but honestly I could probably leave Fulci out of my own personal equation. He doesn't sit well with me, and the best reason that I can think of is that his films do not carry the same beauty that Argento's and Bava's do. Fulci seems all about the gore factor and less about the exquisite intrigue of a beautiful murder or death opposed to a terrible murder involving blood with no aesthetic purpose. I haven't exhausted my Fulci reserves yet so yes I do have a few more films to see before I make my final conclusion--but let's just say, I'm not holding my breath. Blood and Black Lace however, is one of the most beautiful films that I have laid eyes on, and can certainly be seen as a direct inspiration for films like Deep Red and just about all of Giallo.

Blood and Black Lace is your typical murder mystery, raising the bar for future Giallos and even slasher movies. We have many characters, and a plethora of suspects- a gloved, masked and cloaked killer and a lot of beautiful women, models to be exact. One by one the models fall victim to the brutality of the killer, each somehow connected to an elusive diary which perhaps holds the key to the murderers identity. Who is the killer and who can we possibly trust when nearly everyone we become attached to, dies?

Mario Bava is one of very few directors that understands that red goes best with blood. Who knows maybe others are afraid that too much red is simply just too much-like a monochromatic outfit, but to me, nothing is more pleasing than seeing a scene completely washed in red. The bright red telephone,

the astoundingly superb red mannequins for example

are placed so carefully and perfectly within each scene that it causes me to pause and capture every single picture. Each death is like a piece of art and I'm not entirely sure if wanting to hang up each of these stills makes me creepy or cultured..

And then there's this; the most amazing bath tub drowning sequence known to mankind.

But honestly- see how the color red is present almost in every single one of those shots? Red not counting the blood I mean. It truly makes every scene so breathtaking and beautiful. And know you know I'm serious when I say that red really does go best with blood!

Sure like most Italian horror, the story is a bit dodgy and hard to follow- plus half the models look the same so it's hard to keep tabs on who is who--but much like my pal Argento, Bava's work here is more to be admired for the look and feel. Yes the dubbing and dialogue is atrocious and the ending motive seems a little rushed but the blood....THE BLOOD! How can you really beat it? It's pretty much as good to me as a delicious sandwich, which most of us know is hard to beat in my book.

One thing that definitely stood out for me when speaking of Argento, is that Blood and Black Laces ending didn't just wrap things up in a hurried mess of a conclusion. The motive is predictable but the fact that there's this whole other level at the ending- a final distrust, was actually pretty refreshing. I was also never really positive who the killer could be. Although I would mostly attribute this to the fact that there are just too many character's and red herrings for anyone to really figure it out. Let's just say I figured out half of it...

It may take me years to come to terms with my dislike for Fulci- but my love for Bava is slowly and steadily blooming. He is certainly the big daddy moose of beautiful Italian horror and may be the sole reason why I am so attracted to films like Suspiria and Deep Red. I guess Fulci can suck it, I'm on a Bava kick and I'm here to stay.