John Landis: FOUND

Back in October I wrote a letter to John Landis. A real letter on paper, sent in an envelope and sent to an address somebody retrieved for me off the Internet somewhere. Alright so I typed the letter, but in my defense my handwriting looks like the handwriting of a small boy suffering from shaky hands. Anyways in this letter I expressed amongst other things, my gratitude and my hope that he will make his comeback soon. I told him how continuously inspired I am by him almost every single day as I try to find a similar balance of comedy and brilliance in my own writing. Or something along those lines. On the envelope went a stamp and into the mailbox it went.

You know what happened next; months of waiting in anticipation. *DORKY HARRY POTTER REFERENCE WARNING* I stood waiting eagerly trying to predict how the correspondence of John Landis would happen. By letter? By email? By comment on my blog? By giant Russian ship??? I should also mention that I wasn't entirely hopeful. Not because I didn't believe John Landis was kind enough to return any kind of anything--but more so because I seem to have bad luck with this sort of thing. When other people tweet Eli Roth for example, he likes them and recommends their blog. But if I do I get blocked. No comment on whether or not I was trying to seduce him via Twitter.

Ahem. Anyways. I waited and waited and just a few days ago I wrote this post on the 5 things I learned this year. One of them was of course that I still loved John Landis. Even if he never wrote me back, even if he wrote me back and said nasty things--I would continue to support a man who I believed was for lack of a better word--awesome.

And that brings me to today.

Today will live in infamy as the greatest day of my life (so far). I went to the mailbox hoping to receive my latest super sweet care package full of Fangirltastic goodies. I DID get that super sweet package but then another package fell out of my mailbox. A blue package with no name on the return address, just an address and the city---Beverly Hills. As is customary, I immediately thought that finally Dylan McKay was returning my love letter after all these years,

but then a suspicious thought crept into my head. It couldn't be true though. A package? A package that quite obviously held something exciting in it? Never.

I took the package upstairs, my heart beating fast as I closed and locked the door (you should never take chances when you think you are about to have the greatest day of your life). I ripped open the package and saw that there was a DVD inside. My first thought was that someone had sent me a screener. But then I realized I don't accept screeners. THEN I saw the words Innocent Blood on the bottom. That was when I felt the lump in my throat.

I turned the DVD over to find a piece of paper with the words JOHN LANDIS at the top. Just like a piece of one those personalized message pads that say something like "A Message From Andre" except they never had my name on those so I had to get one that said Andrew and scribble out the W. ANYWAYS.

There it was. I couldn't believe my eyes. In his scrawly authentic John Landis handwriting was a note written to me from John Landis on some personalized John Landis stationary. That is some shit!

I didn't even open the rest of the package. For some reason I thought that was all there was and that was enough for me. I started crying and called my sister in a panic. She thought my cat died because I was hysterical and had tears in my voice. She was confused, sort of excited but ultimately still worried that something was wrong. Then I called my Mom who was a bit more excited. Then I wrote a crazy email in all caps to my friend Chris Hallock of All Things Horror. He had been chatting with me when I decided to write the letter and always ensured me that one day John would respond.

Finally it was time to open the rest of the package. Inside there were 3 postcards, 3 COOL postcards with things like the Catacombs and hologram elephants. Postcards from ROME. On the back was a three part handwritten message from John himself.

The note says for those who need glasses:

"Dear Andre- On the last day of 2010 I am finally responding to your kind letter from god knows when. I have returned from over a year of living abroad and only now answering my pile of correspondence I found when I got home. Anyway- I appreciate your generous words about my work. Enclosed is a DVD of INNOCENT BLOOD, one of my wackier fantasy films for your enjoyment. Thanks again and have a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year! Best always--John Landis"

Then there was the Innocent Blood DVD

and the picture of John, Andy Serkis, and Simon Pegg autographed by each and with the words "For Andre". I think I may have fainted.

I still can't get over it. He mailed the package himself! He addressed it himself! He wrote my name 4 times total. He actually answered fan mail and then gave me free stuff that I didn't ask for. I've been staring at it all day now and I still can't wipe the smile off my face. I'm positive this will all be a dream.

So here is the moral of the story. John Landis is the most sincere, down to earth, REAL "celebrity" there is. Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected something like this to happen. Never in my wildest dreams would I guess that a package addressed to me by the font of John Landis would be sitting in my mailbox.

John Landis has been found. He has been "abroad" for over a year and spent his New Years Eve returning fan mail and sending his best wishes for the new year to people he has never met before. Don't worry, I can't believe it either.

So John if by some other odd chance you are reading this, I thank you. You have gone above and beyond anything I ever expected and you have made my year great already. Have a happy new year as well--and make sure your next movie is fucking amazing. Thank you a million times over. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Andre

5 Things I've Learned This Year.

Yay we made it through another year! Every year we experience new things, new people and new places yadda yadda yadda. This year was an interesting one- I graduated from college, moved to Boston, became unemployed and then found a job- and most importantly I began a little project called The Horror Digest. After starting a blog sometime last year (Sunny's Delight if you're feeling saucy) I realized my true passion was Horror- and plus always having to look at my dog who died in March was too much for my little heart to handle. Thus began the formation of what you are reading now. SO before we began another year full of blogging I will tell you 5 things that I've learned since starting my blog.

1. I love John Landis.

This should come as no surprise to any of you- actually this whole list should come as no surprise. But for real...with every new person I meet in life- I find that I am constantly asking them if they know about John Landis. Sure they may "know" about him but do they KNOW ABOUT HIM? And by that I mean how awesome he is. I was trying to explain his genius to Emmy Doomas yesterday and I decided that it's because he has the perfect blend of comedy and horror that just feels so incredibly natural. His horror movies are just the right amount of funny to not be considered a "horror comedy". He maintains an equal hold of both- kind of similar to Tom Hanks who can be an amazing actor yet has the most perfect comedic timing I've ever witnessed. An American Werewolf in London has quickly come one of my favorite movies and it's becoming equally possible that John Landis may replace Dario Argento as my favorite director of all time. Mind blowing I know. So in closing, John Landis, if you're out there...I love you.

2. Eli Roth Really IS a Bastard. (But Still Attractive)

The inside of the horror world is a gross and disgusting place- actually I don't know that but what I do know is that some people have huge heads and egos and my experiences these past few months have shown me this in full force. I promise this will be the last time I go into this story- and with the new year comes new obsessions and new people to block me (wink wink John Landis). Ahem. At some point these last few months I noticed someone had retweeted one of Mr. Roth's tweets. That's funny I thought...that tweet of his never showed up on my timeline...let me check out OH WHAT what is this shit? Eli Roth had had months of tweets that I had never seen how could this be?! I went to follow him again thinking that Twitter had become wacky at some point and deleted those I was following but instead I got this message "This user has blocked you from following them" Yeah what the shit is that about? I've gone over and over the past few months in my head and the only logical explanation is that A. he was scared of the love I had for him and B. he was mad that I said I don't like Hostel or Cabin Fever but LOVED emphasis on loved, Hostel 2 and that I still had faith in him. Apparently that warrants a block? Shade city. After a little research I've found that people have had similar experiences, namely writing him nice comments on his Myspace about how they didn't love a certain part of his movie but loved many many other things- which in turn lead to Eli completely deleting the entire comment. In the immortal words of Stephanie Tanner, How rude! But for real, grow some skin and realize that not everyone is going to love you.

3. French is the New Asian.

Alright I've beaten around the bush long enough so I'm just going to say it- I don't like Asian horror. Well I like it but I don't love it as much as everyone else seems to. But it seems to me like French Horror has really picked up the pace this past few years. With movies like Martyrs, Inside, Ils, Frontiers, High Tension, title after title of complete and utter masterpieces I cannot help but notice that foreign horror has a new Daddy. Move over Asian Horror, the French are here to claim your throne. I am so excited to see what the French will come up with next that I can hardly contain my excitement. On a side note French children are also the new Asian baby. I always see this little French boy talking French to his mother on his way to school and it overloads me with cuteness. It sounds to me like the French are just taking over the whole world...I wonder if French game shows are superior as well...

4. Children are Terrifying.

I used to think sharks and spiders were terrifying but I honestly think I'm ready to amend my list of worst fears and add crazy, creepy, murderous children to it. The Children, Orphan (debatable) The Village of the Damned, The Brood, It's Alive!, Grace, The Innocents - the list can go on for ages! I had never before realized just how scary children can really be and with the latest additions of Grace and The Children it's pretty obvious that filmmakers are ready to seize the issue as violently and brutally as possible. Children are no longer safe from on screen deaths or violence - basically nothing is taboo any longer and with the promise of the new year brings the promise of more vile and terrifying children....ooh I shudder at the thought!

5. Blogging is the Tits.

The Horror Digest has been in business since July and I can't believe how far it's really come. I used sit and watch the counter on my blog and cheer for joy when one new person came to read each day. My first comment? Forget it- I was celebrating for weeks. And now I average about 100 something views a day- plus on average about 8 comments per post. I still can't believe it and it makes me swell with pride and gratitude for all of you that read and seem to enjoy what I write. The fellow bloggers and horror fans I have interacted with these past months are some of the greatest people I've ever met. And with the creation of this blog and the success I've gained, I've come to realize that this is my true passion in life. Thank you to all, you know who you are and I love each and every one of you. Happy New Year and may the next year bring us luck and excitement in the horror world!

Family: Oh Good God I Love You John Landis.

After putting myself through an hour and a half of Brittany Murphy I decided I needed an enormous pick me up. And what better way to pick myself up then another Masters of Horror, John Landis episode!? I've said it numerous times but I'm just going to say it again- I fucking love this man. Both Family and Deer Woman are the best MoH episodes I have seen- AND they are both even better than half of the full length movies I've seen this year. I can't judge which episode I like better- it's like asking me to pick between my two favorite pairs of pajama pants but I will just say- Family is a trip. The best trip I've ever been on- and I even went to Disney World this year so marinate on that for awhile.

OK so Harold played by the always chunky and kind George Wendt- is a nice guy whose only real happiness in life is spending time with his family. Unfortunately, Harold does not have a family. So to make up for that little blunder- Harold kills people, disintegrates their flesh, and makes their skeletons into his wonderful little family. Here is his "daughter" watching cartoons.

What a great shot! So honestly- have you ever heard of a more delightful premise for a movie? The sick and twisted mind of Harold is so cruel and yet so sad at the same time- BUT also hilarious. The Norman Batesian way of interacting with a family one no longer has is so off putting and weird. Every time Harold interacted with his skeleton family I would laugh outrageously but then shift uncomfortably in my seat. I find myself asking over and over how does John Landis accomplish this feat every single time he makes a movie and I can't for the life of me figure it out. Like Deer Woman the plot is almost too outrageous to believe, but he pulls it off! It works and it works so well that I'm gushing all over the place about it. I'm not a 100% on this but I'm pretty sure the only possible answer is that John Landis is Jesus. It's really the only sane explanation.

So when the new neighbors move in Harold immediately gets excited over the woman- played by Andie from Dawson's Creek. He starts fantasizing about making her his new "wife" but his current "wife" tries to convince him that it's too risky. Poor Harold's heart cannot be swayed however.

The ending of this movie could have easily gone overboard but it did not. Even though I sort of guessed a major piece of it- it was still pretty exciting and great to watch. I did not anticipate exactly how things would turn out- but I loved the way the idea of what a true family means played into things. I have to say I'm also in love with the Jesus music that Harold would always blast when doing his work down in the basement...Jesus music!- a sign that Landis IS Jesus...aha!

There were way too many amazing things happening in this and I can't talk about them all or my head will explode. But please, if you have Netflix go watch Family and Deer Woman right now. I swear your life will instantly be better.

An American Werewolf in London: I Wish John Landis Was My Friend.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; I. Love. John. Landis. I'm thoroughly convinced the man is a genius. It's difficult to find such perfect comedic timing paired with such perfect fear and horror but he does it! An American Werewolf is the delight of the century because it both scares and frightens without being overwhelmingly pushed into one or the other genre. David is an extremely likable character whom we grow to love and even shed a tear for by the end of the film.

For those that do not know, An American Werewolf in London is about... an American werewolf in London. David and his friend Jack are backpacking through a rather vacant English countryside. They are warned to stay away from the moors and keep to the main road but of course neither are done and a werewolf kills Jack while scratching up David pretty well. David's last conscious image is that of a naked man lying shot to death on the ground. Back in a London hospital David is visited by Jack who tells him he must kill himself if he is to break the curse upon the werewolves victims.

I guess I just love everything about this movie. The bromance between David and Jack is fantastic, the scene in the moors is both painstakingly anxiety provoking and hilarious, and the movie is littered with fantastic lines, lots of fun gore and amazing make up. David's first transformation into the werewolf is so excruciating you can almost feel your own hands and feet growing to unusual proportions and werewolf claws ripping through your flesh. Every thrill is fun and entertaining- even the one with the unfortunate resemblance to that demon face in the Exorcist I hate so much....!

It could really be the demon's twin brother in all honesty. And there's even a pretty swell love story albeit a brief one, but a believable one nonetheless. David is such a great character it almost kills me to watch the ending. Oh right speaking of the ending....the Piccadilly Circus massacre is pretty outstanding. The carnage is comparable to Final Destination 2 and every body part thrown across the screen brings a smile to my face.

The dream sequences are also another amazing source for the hilarity/terror combination. They are so absurd and terrifying at the same time- it's a perfect representation for what a dream really is.

Werewolves will always be an interesting subject to me. The idea of a two part monster- a monster we fight within ourselves is pretty darn compelling and provocative. Sure there is an aspect within each of us that we hate and secretly want to warn the public about- but how do we do so without sounding like an utter nut job? David tries his best by shouting that Prince Charles is gay and what not but it's just no good.

The ending is very upsetting- and terrible idea by the way Alex, trying to appeal to David's emotions while being transformed. Do you know anything about werewolves? Amateur.

If you have not seen this movie I suggest you attend to the matter immediately. It's drop dead hilarious, scary, and just plain amazing. I wish I could show it to my family at Thanksgiving but somehow I don't think the images of flesh ripped open, and man pubes would sit well with Grammy Doris. Oh well.

The Divemistress has reminded me of one of the best scenes! Enjoy!

Buy An American Werewolf in London at Horror Movie Empire.

Deer Woman:Exactly As It Sounds and Every Bit As Awesome.

I was starting to get a little worried about the Masters of Horror series. So far it seemed as though each director had the same tricks up their sleeve. How do you make a horror movie under an hour long? Add flashbacks that quickly tell your viewers the stuff you don't have time to tell. John Landis however has expertly mastered the short horror film- and Deer Woman was therefore an amazing and entertaining experience.

The only horror related thing I could attach to John Landis off the top of my head was the Thriller video- which is actually not be taken lightly because that video did scare me AND was basically a shortened horror movie so it makes sense. He's also responbile for some of the great comedies of our time and the Twilight Zone movie. He may be the perfect mix of horror and comedy and I never even realized it!

Our story begins with Dectective Faraday- a somewhat distant cop who is assigned the weird cases and cases having to do with animals. He and fellow cop Reed, come across a mangled mass of trampled flesh in the back of a truck. They find deer hooves, deer hair, and after an autopsy find that the male victim had a boner while he was being attacked. How can this be? Because it's a DEER woman of course.

I was honestly laughing out loud for most of this movie. When Faraday was envisioning the different ways that a deer could somehow be a part of a hook up gone wrong were freaking hysterical. The script, also written by Landis was perfect. Not one cheesy line because the movie as a whole never takes itself completely serious. We get some of Faraday's history but it's not some dull black and white flashback or an entire piece of the story- nor does it fit into some stupid twist that no one cares about. The chemistry and on screen bromance between Faraday and Reed made me physically smile- something I don't like to admit to too often because it's creepy- but whatever I was beaming the whole time ok?! The concept of a deer woman is also very interesting and something highly unusual to base a movie around. It is however the perfect concept to base a short horror movie around- because a half deer half woman murderer is not something you can mess around with longer than 57 minutes without dangerously veering on ludicrosity.

If you are in the mood for a horror movie but are feeling rushed or impatient, go to Netflix and watch this. It's truly a memorable and extremely well done little piece of brillance.

Also classic horror fans keep your eyes peeled for this Cat People homage down below! And this scene is just amazingness on all sorts of levels.