Remember in Scream 2 when the killer asks Randy what his favorite scary movie is and Randy replies, "Showgirls" ? Well let me tell you something, Randy was not kidding. Showgirls is terrifying. I've seen Showgirls about 100 times because for some reason Showgirls is played at least once a week on TV. If you know anything about cable network movies than you know that there is a very strict no boobies clause. Due to this, the TV version of Showgirls is hilarious because they draw on digital clothes to cover up the boobies. I didn't start noticing this for a few years, till one day when I noticed that the leopard spots on Nomi's belly shirt were moving. In fact I had gotten so used to this digital clothes version, that I had completely forgotten the full unedited version existed.
This all changed yesterday when I realized that the full, uncut version was available on Netflix. Oh joy I thought, some quality time with my favorite so bad it's good film! Then I put on the movie and.....it was horrifying. Apparently Showgirls is 2 hours long. Also, people are naked for 80% of this. I'm not a prude or anything but there's only so much naked Jessie Spano a soul can take. 20 minutes in and I was silently wishing that the digital clothes were with me. It's so relaxing and fun when digital clothes are there! Without them, the film turns into a completely angry, pornographic mess. There's no sense in summing up why Showgirls is an awful movie so I won't. But just know that Nomi Malone is a beast. Why does she do everything so angrily? Why do periods have to be brought up? Why is she so fucking scary? I'm serious this movie is terrifying---Randy was right.
So anyways, I ended up watching the entire movie because it was so amazingly different from what I'm used to. The edited version is a completely different movie--it baffles me. Somewhere during this 2 hour long shit storm however I came up with the best idea ever. Why not add on my own digital clothes? It was like having my very own whore paper dolls. Imagine the possibilities of deciding what Nomi will wear in every single shot? Believe me--life has never been more wonderful.
So if you're feeling artistic and bored try some Nomi Malone electronic paper dolls. Take a few pics, draw on some clothes and let the magic happen. I'm telling you--it's absurdly entertaining.
