Scream 4: Give Ghostface His Dignity Back

There was an extended period in my life where I wanted to have Scream's baby. I was smitten with Matthew Lillard's annoyingly stupid presence. I got hot flashes when Rose McGowan thought she was thin enough to go through the cat door in the garage. Most importantly however, it scared the crap out of me. So much so, that my first viewing of the film resulted in an all night awake fest courtesy of the metal screw in my ceiling light that suspiciously resembled Ghostface. I was convinced that some lunatic was going to bust through my window at any point during the night and kill me.

Some may say that this is not a healthy reaction to a horror movie. To them I say, yes probably true, although to be fair almost everything in life scares me so I'm really not a good indicator of something going too far.

What I do know is that Scream is a powerful film and certainly one of, if not the best slasher movie of the past decade or so. Because let's be honest---I still want to have Scream's baby okay? Who doesn't?

Due to my blazing love affair with the film, I did my civic duty by watching the sequels and did my best to love them. While I quite enjoyed Scream 2, I felt Scream 3 was leaning a little too dangerously close to the edge of "annoyingly self aware". Now with Scream 4, I'm pretty confident that Scream has completely fallen off that edge and ventured into face slap territory. Which isn't to say Scream 4 is a bad film it's just..............depressing because it reminds me how sad our culture has become.

Ghostface in 2011 is like that point in the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise where Freddy picks up his first dirty slang dictionary and runs wild with it. Ghostface has become too whimsy or something. He's too HILARIOUS and witty to really be scared of anymore. Before he had such a menacing and dark quality about him. There was something truly sinister behind that voice and we dreaded hearing it come out the other end of that line. Now? Now we giggle in anticipation of what Ghostface will come up with next. He's basically turned into this.

Now, we become less scared of Ghostface and more bored with him. Now he just seems like an annoying person on Facebook who thinks that yes, the world does want to know about his loneliness.

In fact, that's the whole problem with Scream 4. It's not scary. And I'm not just saying that because I am no longer a child who easily spooks. Scream 4 is just an exercise in trying to appeal to the new generation of horror fans and being annoying about it. Not that most horror movies don't do that, but there's something so infuriating about implementing Facebook and Youtube as valid plot developments in a movie. Sorry, I mean in any movie that is not called The Social Network.

I know we need to update things and make them cool and current, but didn't anyone else feel like they were trapped in a mall throughout the duration of Scream 4? Why does everyone seem SO LITTLE? It's like when you go back and visit your high school after you consider yourself an adult. The kids look about 10 years younger than you did and to top it all off....the cafeteria tables are smaller. Okay, okay I know it's all in your head but that's what I felt like while watching this. It felt weird. And creepy. Like grown men watching the little league championship on ESPN.

None of this however compares to the fact that the ending reveal of the killer is so outrageously stupid and....stupid. I'm not joking, it's the worst! I was so appalled and annoyed when it happened that I actually did an eye roll at my cat so that I could share with someone how annoyed I was. I really just don't know what to say about it.

Scream 4 isn't even that bad of a movie but that reveal really just killed it for me. There are even some decent and well done things happening throughout here. Creepy parking garage scenes, sad and brutal moments of killings, up close and personal shots of intestines. Plus Sydney Prescott will never fail as a likable and believable final girl for me.

But that ending? MAN! Terrible. Just terrible. Ridiculous. Not believable and worst of all it completely annihilates any shred of respectability that Ghostface had left. I know, I know it's supposed to be a commentary on how much importance we put on Youtube and that whole phenomena of 5 minute famers but come on. COME ON. This is embarrassing Wes.

So in closing. Damn it Scream 4. Damn you. You ruined everything and now we can't be friends or lovers.

SCREAM: Looking Back At a Great Opening Moment

This weekend, the Coolidge Corner Theater kicks off their Nightmares on Harvard Street special program, featuring the films of Wes Craven. This Friday and Saturday at Midnight, slasher favorite Scream will begin the month long extravaganza. For more info and this month's schedule click here or visit Coolidge Corner Theater's Website.

Before I became a full fledged horror buff, Scream was one of the few horror movies I truly loved. Sure it scared the crap out of me, but I would watch it religiously, almost as much as I watched Babe the Gallant Pig (which was everyday). I can remember trying to fall asleep the night after I had watched it. The little screw on my ceiling light slowly began morphing itself into the ghostface mask, and I spent the entire night with my light on. I was positive that at any moment, the "killer" would knock down my door and kill me. There was something so real to me about Scream, and in many ways I still feel that same way. There's no supernatural killer, no mutant little boy who died and is now killing people, no boogeyman who kills people in their sleep. Scream featured a very real scenario with very real people--and that scared the hell out of me.

I've spoken before on this but I still can't ever seem to let go of how wonderful it is, that we are immediately thrown into the happenings. No 20 minute crap characterization, or setting the scene up for meeting our killer for the first time. There aren't even any opening credits--only a ringing phone, and an answered phone.

A less frequently talked about part of this opening is the 2nd time that the phone rings. After politely responding to the caller that they have the wrong number, Drew Barrymore's character Casey, hangs up the phone, turns and walks away. The phone then rings again, there is a beat, and Casey slowly turns around to stare at the phone for a brief moment--the subtlest hint of worry starting to appear on her face.

There is no scary music to tell us that we should be scared, rather we sense it in her body language and the overall tone. Even if we know the overall premise of the film that first initial call will still catch us off guard because it's so sudden. The 2nd call however and Casey's reaction causes us to be fully aware how this will all go down.

Now, as I'm sure many of you are aware, killing off a star like Drew Barrymore early in the film was to some a big surprise. Harking back to Psycho and Janet Leigh's infamous early departure, it was actually Drew, who opted for the role of Casey over Sydney. I for one cannot imagine Drew Barrymore playing Sydney (I remain unconvinced that the majority of her acting surpasses her esteemed performance in E.T.) and I still feel irksome about poster's proudly displaying Drew Barrymore front and center. We can't have it all I suppose.

What I really wanted to talk about however was the unsung hero of the opening scene and the major question on everyone's mind...

Who is Steve Orth? Can anyone even identify who the actor is? What does he look like? The poor guy auditioned for the role of Billy Loomis and was instead granted the great pleasure of being the boyfriend taped to a patio chair and being gutted. I don't even know what he looks like without a giant piece of duck tape covering his mouth. I will now take this moment to shed some life on this poor guy. His name is Kevin Patrick Walls and this is what he looks like without duck tape covering his mouth.

Is it weird I like him better with the duck tape? Anyways. Now you know who Steve Orth is.

What I always found most troubling about the opening murder is how relentlessly brutal it is. After this scene, the movies dips up and down in moments of humor and terror but this scene, and the stabbing of Casey is an entirely different ball game. Watching it back now, I start to pick up on a feeling I felt when watching The Last House on the Left for the first time---sadness. In a lot of horror movies we watch, we become accustomed to rooting for the annoying characters to kick the bucket. Here, we feel a strange sense of hopelessness and depression. Casey's parents are literally 20 feet away from her as she gets brutally stabbed. The stabbing is gutsier and more brutal than most of the horror films I have seen and yet it seldom gets mentioned. When Casey gets stabbed in the throat it's like we can feel the knife pierce our own flesh.

It's just so in your face and so off putting it drives me nuts with emotion. We are crushed when we see Casey's parents at the front door, and the little figure of Casey unsuccessfully crying out for help in the background.

Her parent's worry and the tone in their voice kills me every time. Her mother's scream when she finds Casey's body hanging from a tree is devastating. This is I think what freaked me out the most about this film when I saw it growing up. There's a certain amount of protection you expect from your parents when you are little. In the moment where Casey's parents car is seen, and they get out from the car, there's an odd sense of relief. As you know however, the presence of her parents in no way affects her outcome. She is brutally killed steps away from her own parents. This killed me when I was little. To think that one night when home alone, this same situation could happen and that my parent's wouldn't even be able to prevent it, sent serious chills down my spine.

Even still watching this scene today, I have a hard time coming to terms with the way everything plays out. It remains today as one of the most surprisingly brutal depictions of murder that I've seen---and that says a lot.