An American Werewolf in London: I Wish John Landis Was My Friend.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; I. Love. John. Landis. I'm thoroughly convinced the man is a genius. It's difficult to find such perfect comedic timing paired with such perfect fear and horror but he does it! An American Werewolf is the delight of the century because it both scares and frightens without being overwhelmingly pushed into one or the other genre. David is an extremely likable character whom we grow to love and even shed a tear for by the end of the film.

For those that do not know, An American Werewolf in London is about... an American werewolf in London. David and his friend Jack are backpacking through a rather vacant English countryside. They are warned to stay away from the moors and keep to the main road but of course neither are done and a werewolf kills Jack while scratching up David pretty well. David's last conscious image is that of a naked man lying shot to death on the ground. Back in a London hospital David is visited by Jack who tells him he must kill himself if he is to break the curse upon the werewolves victims.

I guess I just love everything about this movie. The bromance between David and Jack is fantastic, the scene in the moors is both painstakingly anxiety provoking and hilarious, and the movie is littered with fantastic lines, lots of fun gore and amazing make up. David's first transformation into the werewolf is so excruciating you can almost feel your own hands and feet growing to unusual proportions and werewolf claws ripping through your flesh. Every thrill is fun and entertaining- even the one with the unfortunate resemblance to that demon face in the Exorcist I hate so much....!

It could really be the demon's twin brother in all honesty. And there's even a pretty swell love story albeit a brief one, but a believable one nonetheless. David is such a great character it almost kills me to watch the ending. Oh right speaking of the ending....the Piccadilly Circus massacre is pretty outstanding. The carnage is comparable to Final Destination 2 and every body part thrown across the screen brings a smile to my face.

The dream sequences are also another amazing source for the hilarity/terror combination. They are so absurd and terrifying at the same time- it's a perfect representation for what a dream really is.

Werewolves will always be an interesting subject to me. The idea of a two part monster- a monster we fight within ourselves is pretty darn compelling and provocative. Sure there is an aspect within each of us that we hate and secretly want to warn the public about- but how do we do so without sounding like an utter nut job? David tries his best by shouting that Prince Charles is gay and what not but it's just no good.

The ending is very upsetting- and terrible idea by the way Alex, trying to appeal to David's emotions while being transformed. Do you know anything about werewolves? Amateur.

If you have not seen this movie I suggest you attend to the matter immediately. It's drop dead hilarious, scary, and just plain amazing. I wish I could show it to my family at Thanksgiving but somehow I don't think the images of flesh ripped open, and man pubes would sit well with Grammy Doris. Oh well.

The Divemistress has reminded me of one of the best scenes! Enjoy!

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A Tale of Two Sisters: Periods Get Such a Bad Rap These Days

POP QUIZ: Which Asian horror movie is this from?

WRONG! The answer is all of them.

Sigh. Ok here is my dilemma. I know many of you love love love Asian horror namely Audition(which I not so secretly dislike) and The Ring and possibly the Grudge. My problem is that as of late every asian horror movie to come out has been less than thrilling and gives me a terrible headache and case of deja vu. Headache because you never know what the fuck is going on, and deja vu because I've seen that creepy asian girl with long hair who makes gurgling noises one too many times.

Now this isn't to say that I don't find asian horror movies scary. They all have their scary points- and let's face it- the day a scary dead asian girl with stringy hair stops being scary is the day the care bear meter falls and the world has no soul. I just think asian horror movies have been slacking and people just think they have to love them because they are the Godfather of horror movies. Personally I've seen much much better things coming from French and Spanish horror movies but what do I know?

SO ANYWAYS A Tale of Two Sisters may be the most mind boggling movie I've seen to date. I should first mention it took me about 4 tries to watch this the whole way through as the beginning has a very slow build up. Beautiful cinematography and overall images but slow as fuck. I suppose it also didn't help things by knowing the "twist" or whatever because being the plot ruiner that I am I had to read the plot of The Uninvited...but oh well.

The movie is still powerful and strong despite knowing the ending or not. What is wonderful about the movie is that you can probably watch it 20 times and still pick up on new things. I would like to go back and watch it a second time with a clearer understanding in my head now that I come to think of it- but we can't have it all.

There are several beautiful blood moments that made me swoon, as well just some really great camera work and what not. What I find to be most upsetting though is that the twist in this is too difficult to wrap your head around. Now I will defend The Sixth Sense until the end of time- and the great thing about the Sixth Sense is that the twist made sense. Going back we understand that Malcolm never truly interacted with anyone other than Cole- so therefore the twist is warranted. Here however I had the feeling I was being a bit gypped. It's like being invested in a movie the whole way through until you find out the main character was dreaming the entire time. The twist while making sense in the long run- just felt like a giant cheat to the audience- or at least to me. It's like trying to follow someone's conversation when all they talk about are inside jokes with someone else? You feel me? Didn't think so. I just am not a big fan of movies where I only appreciate them once the twist happens. I didn't really give a damn about anyone in this until I figured it out and even then it was a lack luster damn.

I understand the whole idea of everything being a part of her sub conscious/ she's trying to cope with the idea of having her sister's blood on her hands- but it was just too....messy or something. Is there really a way to fix this? Probably not. The story is flawed from the beginning. The realization of why she would be going through so much inner turmoil is very startling and heart breaking. But I felt like that realization and the emotional effect it causes is too hard to grasp after only one viewing.

Another irksome thing was the ghosts in this. I felt like this was the real deal breaker. Oh wait every asian horror movie has to have a ghost in it! Never mind! But really- there was no purpose for the ghost. There are way too many things going on here. We have a story about two sister's hating their step mother, but WAIT there is a weird ghost that gets her period on you while you sleep and WAIT again actually nothing is what it seems and none of this actually happened....WAIT WAIT the stepmother really is a cold hearted bitch? It's just too much.

Again I can appreciate the story and the images and every little thought that was put into this movie. It is beautiful it is moving but I just felt cheated and annoyed by a lot of it. I know it's probably my general dislike of asian horror movies but there has to be someone out there who feels the same way I do? Anyone?

Village of the Damned: Aw Man Not That Creepy Kid Again!

I can't believe I didn't realize the really scary kid from The Innocents is the same really scary kid in The Village of the Damned. I cracked up when I read the IMDB forum where people complained that his voice being dubbed was distracting. Yeah obviously you haven't seen The Innocents or else you would know that that kid just naturally has one of the creepiest voices on the planet.

So Village of the Damned centers around a village- obviously, and one quiet day the entire village passes out- for a good couple of hours. They awoke later in a daze and did not remember a single thing that happened. A few months later all women capable of child birth become pregnant, and a few months later each child is born- bearing similar traits of blonde hair, scary eyes, and weird finger nails. The children grow and development at an alarming rate and the village soon realizes that these aren't children....they are aliens!

I will start off by saying that I loved loved loved the beginning of this movie. I was so pleased and excited that all the action happened right away and that I didn't have to pick my nose until something weird happened. The images of all the townspeople passing out is really amazing. The guy on the tractor, the woman ironing, and of course the bus were really creepy and unsettling.

Now lets get to the these children.

What a bunch creepers. First of all they all wear black pea coats. Second of all, their hair is exactly the kind of blonde hair that I HATE. No offense if you have that color hair and again no offense if I scream out loud if you have that color hair and I see you. Their eyes and the way they walk around in a pack and just stare at people....yikes. Then there's also that little issue of how they drive people to commit suicide by using their mind control powers! Pretty awesome super power if you ask me. I can think of a few people I would like to try that one out on...

Overall, a classic movie with some truly creepy and memorable scenes and images. I love the idea of the whole village fainting at once- and how some time during that- aliens impregnated the women! A true while you were sleeping moment! As creepy as it was it really makes me appalled at Bravo's decision to not include The Innocents on their 100 scariest moments list....what a bunch of whores.

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