Slither: Well, Now That Is Some Fucked Up Shit

Slither was on my list of movies that I was ashamed to have never seen. There is of course no real answer for why this is other than laziness--or I guess because no really gave me a good reason to. There wasn't a whole lot of urgency in the matter, no one was constantly checking in to make sure I was on my way to watching it. The only real reason I chose to seek it out was because it often landed itself on lists of the best horror comedy hybrids in existence. As we know from my past disappointment with films like Dead Alive, I was dubious of Slither's overall charm. Luckily however---Slither remains nestled safely and grotesquely in the camp of films like Return of the Living Dead, Tremors and Cemetery Man. Films where there is no strong divider between the laughs and the thrills. Films where the horror is just as prominent as the laughter--and that my friends is the mark of a truly brilliant horror comedy.

I wasn't technically a horror fan when Slither came out, but from what I read online it seems as though there was a huge backlash against the film in its early stages of promotion. Many claimed the film was a rip off of Night of the Creeps causing many to proclaim it as nothing but unoriginal and lazy. James Gunn (who I will never stop calling Tim Gunn) however professed that Slither was more inspired by the likes of Shivers and The Brood. Still though, you can't really move away from that whole, alien parasite in a meteor that turns people into zombies thing. But more on that later.

For now, a plot. After a meteor thing crashes into the small town of Wheelsy, Grant Grant gets turned into an alien slug monster. After impregnating a woman with zillions of slug aliens, Grant soon spreads his "seed" into nearly every resident of Wheelsy, turning them into slave-like zombie manifestations of his own self.

It's true that while the initial landing of the alien is very Night of the Creeps, Slither really does stay much truer to Shivers and the Brood. Not to mention that the film also somehow manages to cram in a horror reference in nearly every single frame. My favorites of course being the R.J. Macready funeral home.

and the Earl Bassett High School.

Earl. YES!

I fucking love Earl, did I mention that?

It is refreshing to see Tremors being shouted at, since the tone in Slither is very similar to it. By that I mean, both Slither and Tremors feel like mostly horror movies with just very good writing--as opposed to horror movies with highly intentional funny dialogue. There needs to be more of that these days. Being funny isn't something you should have to try at it--it should just come naturally, and not a lot of people tend to realize this. The humor is very blunt in Slither and I like that. They aren't coming up with funny ways to describe something being fucked up--character's instead just say, "That is fucked up"--because it IS.

In any case, whether or not Slither is a tribute to gory, funny movies of yesteryear---doesn't mean that Slither isn't in its own right a very, very good film. I was constantly laughing, I was a little scared AND I was a little sad. Plus, no one told me that Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer was Grant,

I always assumed the main alien guy was the mayor.

My bad.

Also, THANKS The Office fans for not telling me that Pam Beesley is what else--the police secretary. Talk about being type casted.

The film is also just very well done in a wide variety of things. Pacing, storyline, acting, writing. The only thing that really lags is the CGI work but this is something I think I can forgive...only not that ending explosion. I can't forgive that.

I guess what I love most about Slither is how it builds up such a great sense of suffocation. This is most notable in the house scene which features a very prominent shout out to Barbara Steele's bathtub scene in Shivers.

I could rave on and on about this particular scene forever because it was really, REALLY well done. It also reminded me of the scene in Arachnophobia where all the little spiders take over the house.

It's one of those moments where you simply cannot anticipate that anyone will make it out alive. The situation seems so dire and so hopeless. The realization that the girl's entire family had been turned was also oddly sad. Mainly this is when she finally gets into her younger sisters' room and sees them writhing on the bed. This in a way goes back to that scene in The Blob remake, where the little boy gets killed down in the sewers. It's like we don't expect, the children not to make it and when they do--it's like a big stamp of SERIOUS all up in your face. For some reason when children are touched in horror films, it feels like all bets are off.

I also give props to Slither for just being really fucking gross. I must tell you, I have seen pictures of that gigantic lady in the barn and I think I may have even seen the clip. In context however, that scene is very, very disgusting.

As is the ending unveil of Grant in a Society-like giant blob of people and grossness.

Grant's face is also a wonderful display of yuck.

But it's also worth pointing out that the entirety of Slither is not made up of solely gross out gore.

So I loved Slither, that much we can see. If there was one thing I could change about it though, it would be the overly zombie-fied actions of the turned. Call me a zombie racist if you want, but I just don't see why they suddenly had to turn all weird, and shuffle and drag their feet when they walked.

They are not zombies, they didn't die, their brains just got taken over by the Grant monster. There was something about this that really turned me off. In the beginning, it seemed more like those that ingested the slugs were more like pod people. There was something off with them and slowly but surely they begin to physically fall apart. But then somewhere down the line, they all just changed into zombies, and so I ask, why? Is there any real need for this, aside from the fact that it appeals to the million and 5 people that love zombies? Couldn't the Brood angle have been played up more so here? Maybe I'm just crotchety because I'm racist against zombies...

Well anyways, I still love Slither and I'm sad more people weren't urging me to see it sooner. It's a fine example of a horror comedy done right, and a horror comedy that manages to supply its viewer with more than enough scares and thrills. Characters are funny and likable and we end up caring about them even though they have really annoying southern accents. Man, Slither---ya done good.

The Scary Face Club!

I'm starting a club because I feel like there's a real lack of clubs in this world. When I was in elementary school, I was in a pretty sweet club called, "We just saw the Craft and are now pretending to be witches". I was also in the Jelly Belly club--which was amazing because you got an actual club membership card and you could lie and tell them that your name was something else. Mine was Starr Dumas. HA. That's embarrassing....don't repeat that to anyone. But now? What cool clubs are there out there? Sam's club? Burger King kid's club? See? There is a shortage of clubs and that is why I am hereby starting up the scary face club. P.S. Yes this is going to be exactly like the Babysitter's Club, only scary.

Every month I will induct 5 scary faces into the Scary Face Club. It will be fun, because we can sit around and talk about and look at scary faces all day. For this first month's meeting, I will be taking a vote on who the president of the Scary Face Club should be and I want every body's input. This means YOU Kurt Russell. I know you're out there somewhere........

So without further ado here are the first five scary faces to enter the Scary Face Club.

Pazuzu

Pazuzu has my vote for the President of the Scary Face club. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say FUCK YOU scary Exorcist face. I always forget when it's going to show up and then it gets me every single fucking time. And then, I close my eyes and all I can see is that face. Oh god oh god.

Zelda

It's common knowledge that when a man plays the role of a woman--shit is usually scary. Such is the case with the Zelda flashbacks in Pet Sematary. There are few things more terrifying and disgusting than seeing Zelda writhing on the bed and trying to eat.

Dumpster Creature

I often get in trouble for posting this picture without warning. So if you are one of those people that gets easily upset by this picture, then I apologize. I'm sure none of us expected to actually see what the monster behind the dumpster looked like. I myself assumed it was all in that one guy's head. This is what makes the monster's/homeless man's appearance so incredibly terrifying. That and the fact that it's just a really scary fucking face. And it's dirty.

The Countess

I think you should know, that I still have a hard time entering a dark room and turning on the lights because of this damn Countess. One of these days she's going to be lying there in my bed and staring at me with those eyes. And then I will cry for a very, very long time.

Barlow

I had to decide on the final inductee with some help from the Twitterverse. Barlow and Count Orlok look the exact same so it's difficult for me to decide who gets to be on the first committee of the Scary Face Club. In the end however, I was reminded of how fucking scary the first time we see Barlow is---and many agreed and therefore, Barlow wins! Don't cry Count Orlok, you'll be in the Scary Face Club someday!

SO. Who gets your vote for president of the Scary Face Club?

And without further ado---The first meeting of the Scary Face Club has come to order!

In My Skin: Unable To Look Away

I'm not the biggest fan of skin trauma. I found this out the hard way after realizing that sudden onsets of nausea and fainting usually came after I witnessed someone slicing off a piece of their own skin. You might now be asking yourself why on earth I would willingly choose to watch a film about a woman who cuts off pieces of her own skin and I'm sorry to inform you that I have no answer. Other than the fact that I've heard things. Strange things...voices mostly--in particular one who is very angry and tells me that I smell and also another, nicer voice that tells me that In My Skin is good. Hard to get through---but good.

By the way I was kidding about the hearing voices thing....

In the grand scheme of things, In My Skin is not technically a horror film. It gets grouped there because of all the ickiness, but I found it to be more on par with something like Irreversible. Disturbing definitely in any case. And it just so happens to be one of those movies that really makes you think. And boy, do I like those.

As I said, In My Skin follows a woman named Esther who after falling and cutting her leg is obsessed with cutting her skin.

Her boyfriend finds this odd (I mean, he should be at least) but cannot understand why on earth she continues to mutilate herself. And neither can we. As the film progresses and Esther's grip on reality continues to slip, we find ourselves just as lost as she is. Unsure about the reasons but entirely captivated by something....something indeed.

It's hard to explain a film like In My Skin without first explaining how horrifying it can at times be. In fact, I gave myself a headache because I kept my face screwed up in a frown for longer than 20 minutes. Did you know that you can actually give yourself a headache by frowning for that long? Neither did I, but there you have it. So there I was my face glued in an eternal frown/pout and I couldn't look away. I really, really wanted to mind you--but much like the films of Gaspar Noe, In My Skin draws you in with this incredible power. I like to imagine little gnomes with wings are flying out of the screen and luring me towards the images with the smell of sandwiches and scotch tape (don't ask) (alright fine I like the smell of school supplies, is that so wrong?).

I suppose if gnomes with wings are not involved in the equation than In My Skin accomplishes this feat by utilizing the ever tantalizing technique of juxtaposition. We are presented with some foul, foul things. Horrible, disgusting, bloody, revolting things---that somehow, and against all odds, end up being rather beautiful. These moments of extreme disgust are filmed in some of the most intriguing ways I have ever seen. It causes the images to look more like actual still frames of fine art. It's like in those moments where I first felt a deep sense of vomity something--I then felt this rush of gratitude and awe. Could it be that the gore and nastiness acts as an antidote? The hair of the dog that bit me? Hmmmmm indeed!

Esther's character seems to be complex and simple at the same time. Contradictory yes, but what I mean is--that while her psychological problems seem to run deep--she is outwardly very one dimensional. We see her as little more than a weepy, confused woman. We have a very small idea of what is actually going on inside her head and in all honesty we don't really want to know. The easy way to explain it all away of course is a type of body dysmorphic disorder, but as with most mental illnesses---things are much more complicated than that.

In My Skin is capable of being analyzed and over analyzed for hours--maybe days. I don't feel I need to talk about any one thing because the film to me seems to be much more of an experience. It's slow, and it's strange and it's not typically something many people would enjoy. It's hard to sit through--but not in the "I'm going to prove to people that I'm a badass way". More in the you dread the moment when you find yourself watching it again way.

The whole thing is just plain unnerving. There is one scene in particular that had me literally vocalizing my tension out loud. During a business dinner Esther begins fantasizing about her arm being unattached from her body.

It's a quick shift that happens but it certainly happens and then you are just left waiting there for the moment of pure what the hell is going on. She then takes her dinner knife and begins cutting away at her flesh (during the BUSINESS DINNER).

To add insult to injury she then switches over to her fork! It's like a car accident that keeps happening over and over again. Meanwhile the business dinner conversation continues to flow without missing a beat. It was surely one of the most distressing dinners I had ever witnessed.

There's all sorts of things to be excited about as a film goer however. One thing that made me particularly interested was the idea that Esther begins forming this almost sexual relationship with her skin. Skin is intimate if you think about it. It's the thing we feel closest to and it evokes images of being naked and sex and all that jazz. Early on in the film there is a moment where Esther and her boyfriend are kissing. I was struck instantly by how awkward and strange that scene felt. Watching people really kissing was never my strong suit mind you, but come on--this doesn't look normal does it? The sucking is too strong!

Then later, during a particularly gruesome cutting effort by Esther, she begins to suck and bite the skin on her arm off. I was at that moment completely amazed that it was made to look like she was passionately kissing her arm!

This scene echoes the beginning one almost perfectly. Esther's relationship with her boyfriend is severely damaged because Esther is too busy being infatuated with her own skin!

Oh jeez there I go again getting all excited and blabbing away. WELL let me just say to wrap things up that In My Skin is very surprising. Gross. Beautiful. Depressing. Romantic. All of the above. A completely thought provoking film that seems minimal on the surface but so, so twisted and complex once you really start thinking things over. Needless to say, the experience of watching In My Skin will change you. Let's just say that you'll never look at those little pieces of skin that you keep in a little plastic baggy, tucked sweetly away in your wallet, the same ever again. You don't know what that means probably, but don't worry--you will.