Roger Corman, The Real Magic in The Exorcist and a Black and White Cake.

This is a post about three random and neat things that I found out this weekend that I would like to share with you. Some of you may think it unnecessary and meaningless to divulge in such matters but you are wrong. The unnecessary and meaningless is what this blog thrives on!! I also find it curious that I'm using words that are a bit more challenging than my standard written vocabulary. To this I say, what ho? Or wait maybe now I'm just talking like some kind of saucy English lass. Is lass a Scottish thing? Oh, I give up. Although to be fair I think my recent surge in fake intelligence is due both to the fact that A. Teen Jeopardy happened this week and B. It was a rerun. What? Are you disappointed that I'm not as smart as I think I am? Me too friend. Me too.

SO ANYWAY. Here are some neat things that happened.

1. Roger Corman and Candles Sitting In a Tree.

Last night I had an epiphany that Roger Corman is CANDLE CRAZY. And not just any kind of candle crazy mind you...he's awesome bright super fucking cool colors candle crazy. In layman's terms that means that he likes bright candles. He LOVES them. In fact, I think it's fair to say that unusual colored candles are one of Corman's trademarks. I discovered this last night while watching the Pit and the Pendulum which has some pretty spectacular blood red candles in it.

This promptly got me thinking about Masque of the Red Death which I watched half of, fell asleep and then forgot about until now. What I did remember though was how gloriously beautiful the candles are in that film (And the colors too). I couldn't get over the fact of how fucking awesome a blue candle was. OR a teal one for that matter.

This got me really thinking. If there were two wonderful examples of awesome candles in two different Roger Corman films then doesn't that mean that just about every Roger Corman film should have awesome candles in it? Sort of yes.

Here is some evidence to prove this theory.

Sooooooooooo many candles. So many different glorious candles. How does he do it? How?!

I think I speak for all of us when I say that we need to start bringing candles back. Especially ones in cool colors like this. Let's make it happen.

2. Pazuzu, Whozu?

You don't need to tell me that's the best title to ever come out of my face--I know. So this weekend I've been in a bit of a documentary watching kind of mood. While on this craving I watched Fantastic Flesh: The Art of Make-Up EFX.

While not necessarily a documentary per say, it does have a pretty good collection of some horror movie magic that should warm all of hearts just the right way.

One especially crazy thing I learned during this is not only the existence of Dick Smith but also of the existence of some of the best make-up that most people don't even know is make up. I'm not talking about Pazuzu people. The most impressive make up believe it or not, was actually done on Max von Sydow who played Father Merrin.

In the Exorcist, Father Merrin is old. Like really fucking old. Like so fucking old he dies because the demon's demon power was too much for his old heart to handle. There's even a certain point where I swear you can see his life force kind of float out of him.

The thing about how old Father Merrin is, is that Max von Sydow was only 44 years old when he played the role. 44!!!! I thought that dude was 95. Dick Smith's makeup according to many is one of the finest examples of aging by makeup in the history of film. I think my jaw seriously dropped when I saw a picture of what von Sydow actually looked like during filming.

In fact, even today at 82 van Sydow looks like a spring chicken compared to his Father Merrin counterpart.

Isn't it crazy that movie makeup can be that good? It makes me smile and weep a tear for the future of CGI.

3. Kim Kardashian is a fan of the Sentinel!

Since our world is already crumbling into a black abyss of embarrassment, I think it's okay to talk about Kim Kardashian for a minute. It's kind of like when you kill someone and then realize that stealing a candy bar is probably not such a big deal. Am I right?

So if you haven't heard, Kim Kardashian got married to some guy she met 2 hours ago. Her wedding was the expected lavish ceremony filled with unnecessary touches and a really ugly beaded head crown thing that I think was supposed to honor the Child-like Empress but I can't be sure.

I can be sure however that it looked a lot better on the Child-like Empress.

Anyways. The theme of Kim's wedding was black and white which sadly does not mean the wedding honored one of the greatest songs and music videos of all time, Michael Jackson's Black or White. It also sadly did not feature Macaulay Culkin lip synching to a rap performed by an African American man.

This black and white theme however does mean that yes, the wedding cake was black and white.

While watching Access Hollywood tonight (Hey whatever you guys I was just waiting for Teen Jeopardy to start okay?) they actually pointed the cake out and said....."A black and white cake". This may not seem like a big deal to anyone who has never seen the Sentinel....but to those of us that have it can only mean one thing....

BLACK AND WHITE CAT. BLACK AND WHITE CAKE.

You know, it's funny. After everything I've been through and after everything I've learned in this world, I still cannot fucking figure out what the hell that means. What does that mean?! Nobody knows but it's still the best line in the entire film. And...WAIT A MINUTE. I get it!! The cat....Jezebel is black and white so the nice old lady was merely just pointing out that it makes sense if the cat's birthday cake is also black and white. OR does it mean that the cat's mother slept with a black man? AHH I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!

What I can figure out however is that Kim Kardashian obviously loves the Sentinel. Why else would she have a black and white cake? It makes perfect sense.

5 Things I've Learned This Year

Well again we've made it another year. There's only one year left before the world ends and John Cusack makes it out alive. But hey, we can get a lot done in a year. In fact I know we can just by looking back at this year. So many great things happened, so many new friends, so many friends that I decided I hated--yes, this year had it all. So welcome yet again to my final wrap up in which I let you in on the 5 most important things that I've learned.

1. A Disturbing Film Isn't Just About the Gore

A few years ago, I could hardly make it through the anticipation that is Audition. Today, I'm eating a bowl of pasta with meat sauce while watching Cannibal Ferox. How did this happen? I'm guessing it's because of a little thing called desensitization. I've done a lot of thinking over this past year about gore, why horror fans seem to be immune to it, while even the toughest of men get queasy at the thought of sitting through a Saw film. Somewhere amongst the 300 or so horror movies I've watched in the last year and a half--gore became no big deal to me.

That's why as I move forward in my Exploration Disturbia project, I find that it's getting easier and easier to find the films that will make it on the list. Being disturbed by something is not the same as getting nauseous. Gore plays a role sure, but for a film to really, genuinely disturb me, it needs to continuously break into my thought patterns at the regular intervals in my day. Washing dishes or talking to my grandmother on the phone needs to be interrupted by the idea of eating Chinese dumplings stuffed with aborted fetuses. A lot of unnecessary gore does not a disturbing film make and this little realization that I had not too long ago--makes me even more excited for the final list to be made.

2. I Still Love John Landis

Alright, so he never responded to my letter. Am I going to cry about it? Am I going to gorge relentlessly on carbs and pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream while I hold my cat and watch reruns of Sex & the City. Probably. But who can blame me? For those of you who don't know, I sent John Landis a letter (a REAL letter) a few months ago--maybe longer...time flies when you're hopeful. In this letter I told him how I missed him and his movies and that he needs to make another horror movie so that my life can take the proper shape again. In the actual letter I used less creepy sounding metaphors and adjectives.

Anyways I still think it's true. John Landis is original, hilarious, and makes great films. His humor is exactly the kind of natural wittiness that I strive for a on a daily basis. So what if he's making a dark comedy right now? I need a horror movie. I need an American Werewolf in London type film that was not originally intended to be a funny movie that contains horror elements. I just want him back. I want him to prove to us all that our favorite directors are still capable of turning out great films. I won't name names.... (WES CRAVEN who didn't sign the poster of My Soul to Take the way I wanted you to!!!!)

3. Variation Helps

I touched on this a bit in my year end wrap up but when you watch only horror movies for the better part of your life, you start to feel like a giant blob. It's not that I was necessarily sick of horror movies, it's just that I kind of missed watching a movie where someone doesn't get killed. This is why now at least once a week, I watch a movie that is not a horror movie. Amazingly enough it helps me become a better movie watcher. It also makes me a little smarter (maybe) and possibly even a better writer. Of course I owe a big thank you to Nate Yapp for inviting me over to Cinema Geek where I can watch non horror movies and still talk about them. May the next year bring many new posts and movie watching experiences.

4. I Am a Wuss

I failed you. All of you. I was so excited about my Facing the Fear project this summer and so ready to you know, face my fear and all that and then BAM. Too scary. I suppose I was just too ambitious. It's just such a strange thing to be so terrified of a fake shark. A FAKE ONE. I'm not even that scared of real ones just fake ones! What is that? It's the lamest thing in the entire world. How can I give you people advice on disturbing movies when I still think that if I close my eyes in the shower, a shark will eat me?!!!

Honestly, those first few days after my failed viewing of Jaws were dark. Dark, depressing and dumb. I felt like the lowest of the low. Maybe one day when I'm really drunk I will be able to watch Jaws 2. But until then, I'll understand if you still want to make fun of me constantly behind my back. I deserve it.

5. Blogging Is Still the Tits

It's true, I still am having just as much if not more, fun blogging. I'm pretty notorious for not finishing projects. I have an unfinished cross stitch of three cats in my bedside table that says, 'A Cat is a Cat and That's That!' (please reserve judgement until the end), and just yesterday I put away a puzzle that I did not feel like finishing (in my defense it was very difficult) (it was 1000 pieces and a picture mosaic of Starry Night made up hundreds of pictures of astronauts and the night sky. FYI the night sky all LOOKS THE FUCKING SAME. And also the puzzle was distracting me from doing real life stuff like eating sandwiches and watching reruns of Jon and Kate Plus 8). So believe me, I am as surprised as you that I've kept this blog going for so long.

I can't believe last year at this exact time I was exclaiming in wonder how great is that I get 100 hits a day. As of now, my average is 1,000 hits a day! Yes about half of those people are just searching for free hard core sex sites but the other half (maybe) are real genuine people who want to read about horror movies and want to have a good time. Every day that I get an email from someone, whether it's just a "hey I love what you're doing" or a "you've inspired me to start my own blog" or even some crappy spammer just wanting to link with me---I get excited.

Yes, blogging is largely meaningless--but to some people (including yours truly) it's the best decision they ever made. This blog has created opportunities for me. I can apply to jobs that I actually want and put my blog on my resume because people want to know. People want to know that I'm not just some average 24 year old getting a job to pay the bills. I'm a 24 year old who uses all their spare time to write about blood and guts and horror movies that have feelings and that are actually saying something. I have creativity, free thought and boobs. I'm not average and blogging is NOT meaningless if you have something to say. Always remember this when someone gives you dirty looks.

So as this year comes to a close I think it's important that I thank all of you who have stuck by and read The Horror Digest. Whether you've never left a comment, or if you have. Any and all readership is good to me (Yes, even you Jervaise Brooke Hamster). Without you I would feel meaningless.

Here's to another great year of opportunities, friends, and horror movies.