Monday, May 3, 2010

Unintentional Horror Movie Theme Songs

There was a time in my life when I used to think that J.F.K. in Forrest Gump was really J.F.K. acting with Tom Hanks. I also used to think that songs were created for use in ads and not the other way around. Boy was I wrong! It doesn't take a lot of thought to wonder if Gillette named their Venus line with the sole purpose of being able to use that catchy song.

Although we all know that the product would have been a bit more successful, had they used the superior version of the song, sung by the one and only Kimmy Gibbler.

The same can be said for quite a few horror movies, Jeepers Creepers comes to mind---so today I decided to give some favorite horror movies some unintentional theme songs. These are songs that you wouldn't really pair with the movie but the funny thing is--they somehow kind of work. Granted I may have stretched some meanings but never mind, never mind, all in good fun. Let's just say that if I did catch the remake bug, I may only remake these due to the possibility of being able to use these songs.

Sting's Inside is a sweet lullaby of... a lot of lyrics. I mean come on, he's a little wordy dawg--but in all honesty, if you think about the lyrics it makes sense in a really creepy way. And by that I mean in an ironic sort of way. Oh what the hey- I just love me some Sting is all!

Defining Lyrics:

Inside the doors are sealed to love
Inside my heart is sleeping
Inside the fingers of my glove
Inside the bones of my right hand
Inside it's colder than the stars
Inside the dogs are weeping
Inside the circus of the wind
Inside the clocks are filled with sand
Inside she'll never hurt me
Inside the winter's creeping
Inside the compass of the night
Inside the folding of the land

And WHOA check this line out---I climb this tower inside my head
A spiral stair above my bed
I dream the stairs don't ask me why,
I throw myself into the sky

Remember what happens on the stairs?????????

People should really hire me to fit songs to movies.

I'm not sure I need to provide any evidence for why Queen's A Kind of Magic is the perfect song for the film Magic. Just listen to the song and let it's magic float over you. Plus, I'm not entirely convinced that this song wasn't written for the movie in the first place, so ha.

Defining Lyrics:

Its a kind of magic The waiting seems eternity The day will dawn of sanity Is this a kind of magic Its a kind of magic There can be only one This rage that lasts a thousand years Will soon be done This flame that burns inside of me Im here in secret harmonies Its a kind of magic

It's pretty hard to make a list about movie theme songs and leave out the king of movie theme songs...the Free Willy song anyone?

Ahem. But anyways. This time he's teamed up with sister Janet (Whose song Black Cat almost won as the theme song for TWO movies named The Black Cat) to bring us Scream. A perennial favorite of mine- which also strangely works for the movie of the same title. One reading of these lyrics and you can instantly envision poor Sidney Campbell screaming about the outrage her life has become. Gail Weathers is mostly to blame--but also....a ghost faced killer is trying to kill her. That definitely makes her wanna scream...

Defining Lyrics:

Peek in the shadow
Come into the light
You tell me I'm wrong
Then you better prove you're right
You're sellin' out souls but
I care about mine
I've got to get stronger
And I won't give up the fight

This song may not seem like it fits but it basically does. I mean what is it really about anyways? Selling someone out? OH REALLY? Weird. I've always secretly loved Live- if at least only for the reason that I could never figure out if their name was Live as in I live in Boston or Live as in this show is live. It used to hurt my head just thinking about it!

Defining Lyrics:

will you call them freaks
or will you call them gods
will you call them freaks

now you know they're gonna come for you
and drag your silly name into the mud

Well that's it for now. But while you're here check out these songs that I really wanted to work, but in the end, I decided it was best to part ways. For the most part these songs have nothing to do with the movie. But that doesn't mean we can't laugh picturing them as the title song. Enjoy.

Editor's Note: Misery Business actually kind of works....neato!


Chris H said...

oh my god, you are a horror genius, I swear

I love how a ton of 70s horror films have folksy theme songs that are about what will happen in the movie.

Franco Macabro said...

Funny post!

mandolin picks said...

This is a very interesting post. These horror movies are one of the best. I really liked The Ring. It certainly creeps me out especially when a phone rings at home in the middle of the night. Anyway, what horror movie was that when a child was singing Little Sunny Water in one of the scary scenes?