Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I'm So Embarrassed!

When I was in kindergarten I peed my pants. I peed my pants while I was opening the door to go to the bathroom. I was so embarrassed that I went back to my classroom and told my teacher that I had slipped in a big puddle of water. She sent me to the nurse to get new clothes, where I promptly retold my story. She exclaimed how awful it was and that she would go get the janitor to clean up the puddle. I looked up in alarm and hurriedly explained that I had already cleaned it up myself. The nurse smiled and said that I had done a good deed. No one ever knew that I had peed my pants but I'm telling you all now because I'm not afraid anymore. We all get embarrassed from time to time. We've all farted by accident, fell down in public, had a snot in our nose for an entire day. Sometimes we just can't avoid embarrassment, so why not laugh it off. Join me now as we take a look at some truly embarrassing moments in horror--and laugh at them.

Quarantine (And maybe REC I can't remember...)

We all know that if you really want to find out if that sexy fireman has a crush on you--all you have to do is pretend your filming him and his crew for a news story, slap a mic on him and stealthily walk away. Boys can't help but openly talk about girls and how badly they want to do them. It's only human nature. Poor Jake. It's so embarrassing when a sexy TV news reporter can hear you talking about her because you left your dumb mic on. Now everyone knows who you have a crush on. HAHA!

An American Werewolf in London

Don't you hate those dreams where you turn into a werewolf, kill someone and then wake up naked in a wolf pen? Me too. David here had quite a night and he's got the scratches to prove it. As if waking up in a public place wasn't bad enough, he then has to wear a woman's coat!

Honestly, there is nothing worse than a dream where you are naked. I can only imagine what it would feel like in real life. Probably even more embarrassing... at least David was fortunate enough to pass by a little boy with a bunch of balloons. Can you believe his luck?! Everybody laugh at the naked American man!!

Terror Train

Pranks are the worst. Especially when it's a really mean prank and when you're a virgin and you're ugly. All Kenny wanted to do was score with hottie Alana Maxwell. Those douche bag pre-med students however had bigger plans up their sleeves. Obviously a really great prank is to put a dead body in the bed with Kenny

so that he gets scared enough to wrap himself up in the curtains.

How embarrassing for Kenny! Imagine being ridiculed by your peers for ending up in bed with a dead person and THEN getting yourself caught in the curtains. SO EMBARRASSING. But also funny because really? If you don't calm down no one will be able to get you out of those curtains Kenny!

Drag Me To Hell

I admit I've never had a bloody nose in my entire life, but I remember when kids did--it was a little embarrassing. Poor Christine however has the great misfortune of first puking up a little blood and then getting a projectile nose bleed at her place of employment. A projectile nosebleed that gets all over her boss...can you imagine?

If only she had given Slyvia Ganush an extension than she could have easily avoided this terribly embarrassing incident. Alas, then we wouldn't have a very good movie, so bleed away Christine.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

A bad haircut can really ruin your life. A bad haircut given to you by a psychopath fisherman murderer while you are sleeping however is substantially worse. Poor Helen, waking up on the day of the big parade, with a haircut that resembles what I imagine a crack whore's hair looks like on a hot summers day. How can she pass down her seashell crown with such a bad haircut?

The Sentinel

Walking in on your parents having sex is probably one of the most embarrassing things in the world. However nothing, and I mean nothing tops walking in on your father having sex with two--COUNT EM---two women, stuffing their faces with cake. Wow. Alison was evidently so embarrassed that she tried to kill herself. She of course then failed and was sentenced to guard the gates of hell until she died. What a terrible day.


Some people hate getting their period, but EVERYONE hates getting their period for the first time in the shower and not knowing what it is. How was Carrie suppose to know that it's the natural course of a woman's life? Her mother probably told her that anything that bleeds should be killed because whatever it is probably sinned. Carrie really thought she was dying, and instead of getting help, she got a bunch of pads and tampons thrown at her and was met with chants of PLUG IT UP! What a horrible, horrible way to find out that you're a woman.

The Human Centipede

Not being able to control your poop entering another human beings mouth? Actually wait...having another persons mouth sewn to your butthole? Wow. No explanation necessary. I'm getting red just thinking about it.


Dod said...

Hahaha! Hilarious post, Andre - I think you have a new companion to the Way To Go Moments here.

Andre Dumas said...

There were an alarming amount of embarrassing moments to be had. And I think I've just barely skimmed the surface...you may be right.

Man, I miss Way To Go Moments. I have no real reason why they stopped either--I really need to fix that!

The Mike said...

You've never had a bloody nose? How's that happen? You really are superhuman, aren't you?

B-Movie Becky said...

What a brilliant idea for a post. Definitely some cringe-worthy moments in there, especially American Werewolf and Carrie. Some other embarrassing moments that came to mind:

Shaun of the Dead - When Shaun's girlfriend realizes he never made dinner reservations like he said he would and he suggests going to the Winchester. Watching people get caught in a lie is always awkward.

Scream - When Tatum completely disses Dewey in front of everyone at the police station. Haha.

Definitely do another post like this someday!

Jenny Krueger said...

Hahaha that's funny. Some pretty good movies you got there.

deadlydolls said...

Niiiiiice. I love how the mini-Terror Train prank is enough to cause the kid to retaliate with a killing spree. Really, it's a bit much. He could've just TOLD on them.

Big D said...

Awh... I really felt for little A. Dumas at the beginning of the blog :(
I think we all must wet ourselves at nursery.... I went to pick up my nephew last week and did it....
Hehehehe... Sorry little joke.
In all seriousness though I remember doing it and then trying surreptiously to press myself against the radiator so I could dry out before my mum came to pick me up. Aah happy memories... But ooh doesnt it start to sting after a while?

the jaded viewer said...

I agree...we need more Way to Go moments!

Dorian Gray said...

I feel like Helen kind of got off easy compared to the other folks on the list--I mean she was able to salvage her hair enough to fashion it into a stylish bob. And yeah, she does get killed which sucks, but at least she looked good, so there's that.

Andre Dumas said...

it's true, the killer really should have been a little more liberal with those scissors. Still, a bad haircut is the WORST. Especially when you obsess over your long, extensions like Helen did.