Friday, January 15, 2010

Disappointing Google Image Search Results.

We all know about my great luck in finding Jesus riding Falkor after searching "Yay!" in Google images. But what you don't know is that while trying to gather images for that same post- I came across some major fails. There are few worse things than coming up with nothing on a Google image search- because let's face it, Google is the best invention since sandwiches. So let's relive those heartbreaking and deeply sad moments- shall we?

Google Search: "I Love John Landis"

Google Result:

Apparently over at Aden Masonry Inc John Landis is a foreman. Why this image was the first result when searching John Landis, we will never know. But what we do know are some fascinating facts about John Landis the foreman's life. Thank God.

John Landis
AMI employee since 1998
John is a native Oregonian (love that Tillamook cheese) and has lived in Washington for ten years. He is a devoted father who has four daughters (13, 18, 20 & 21) and one granddaughter. He has been in the trade for 25 years and a foreman for seven years with AMI. John is an easy going guy and brings his strong work ethics and positive attitude to the job site everyday. He takes great pride in being a bricklayer and in his "well rounded" skills, he never hesitates to pitch in wherever/whenever he is needed, to get the job done. In his spare time, John enjoys a variety of sports, music events, gourmet food, riding his motorcycle and overall just being alive. GO DUCKS!

Google Search: Blogging is the Tits

Google Result:

I expected that typing in any sentences involving the word "tits" would return back some of the most terrifyingly grostesque images of boobies that ever lived- but I never thought that an innocent birdie would be staring right back at me. Although I suppose turning off safe search would not grant those same results. However one good thing that came out of this was the man responsible for equating these "tits" with TITS.

Whose "About Me" really IS the tits.

Name: JimBobby
Location: Nanticoke, Ontariariario, Canada
I'm jest a simple feller tryin' t' figger out this whole boogeysphere thingy. I got me 1 wifemate an' a growed-up boy an' a good-as-gold daughter-in-law an' a coupla grandkiddies an' 1 border coalie dog an' 1 sorta Rottweiler.

As for a helpful hint- try combining what you really enjoy with the word "tits" for a much safer search. For instance, I got much more helpful results after searching "Kittens in Tits" and "Cat Boobs" than just searching "tits". But all the same, I would like to thank Jim Bobby for providing me with some entertainment.

Google Search: I Love France

Google Result:

I guess what someone really loves about France is that dogs there let you take pictures of them pooping? Fair Enough.


Unknown said...

I have that problem of finding the wrong images when looking for photos to include in reviews.LOL I once got a photo of Bjork when I looked up the term mongoloid.HA!

Scare Sarah said...

I was about to wright "Ahaha stop it I'm wetting myself" when I thought I'd put it into Google images. First picture up? A pair of biker boots that look like prosthetic limbs! No lie.

Chris H said...

What happens if you google YOURSELF?

Chris H said...

Oh wait, yours is probably going to churn up pics of a certain famous French writer or something silly like that.

Mine have me all wearing the same damn shirt! I HAVE OTHER SHIRT BESIDES THE BLUE ONE, GOOGLE!

Andre said...

Hahahah those are all amazing results! I love it!

Chris- BINGO search "Andre Dumas" and the fattest possible picture of Alexandre Dumas- pops up. I don't show up till like the 3rd's sad.

William Malmborg said...

I Google myself every now and then because sometimes reviews from stories I published in books or magazines pop up that I've never seen before thanks to how easy it is for people to post reviews these days online. Once though I discovered a forum where a bunch of kids from high school were talking about a phone call they thought I made to them several years ago in the middle of the night (I was actually on my honeymoon at the time so whoever said it was me was lying) but they were convinced it was me who was threatening to kill them. It was really weird and a bunch of people from my high school days posted comments about how creepy I was back then. A real nice feel good moment.

Chuck Conry said...

lol Oddly enough I google image search my name I actually turn up a lot on on page 1

Dod said...

Love this blog! What wonderful results...

When I Google my name, the results are mostly "Date of Death, March" something or another. I'm like the Grim Reaper.

B-Sol said...

This literally had me dying. Kudos lady. Kudos.