Monday, January 11, 2010

Autopsy: Dude. It Makes Tons Of Sense.

With the fourth After Dark Horrorfest steadily approaching, I've decided to take a look back at some films featured in previous years. While films in the past have gone from amazing- (Frontier(s) ) to questionable (Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror) - it's pretty safe to assume that you get lucky every now and then and other times......yeah. I would have to place Autopsy on the "yeah." scale just for the sheer ridiculousness.

Autopsy may very well have been a film for the horror masses- filled with gallons of blood- "funny" one liners- and even some homages to Italian horror. The plot seemed interesting enough- after a car accident a group of Mardi Gras partying peeps, get sent to a hospital where they learn that the doctor is a little different....instead of trying to save patients he seems to have pulled a Mr. Freeze- and resorted to harvesting other people in order to keep his wife alive and cure whatever zombie ailments she has. Creepy hospitals? Count me in.

The film is a bit flawed however, as it becomes very apparent rather quickly that things just don't make sense. And don't give me that "this is a horror movie it doesn't have to make sense bull shit". I'm sorry. But if you've just run over a man with your car and the ambulance comes and tosses the guy into the back rather violently- and leaves him back there without assisting him with any medical attention--I would think your ears would be perked up just a little. Not to mention once you arrive at the hospital there is one nurse and one doctor- and that is ok? I guess...... And don't even get me started on the whole- I used to be in medical school but dropped out but it's totally normal that the doctor would need to give me a spinal tap when all I did was hit my head????????????????????????? Emphasis on the question marks there.

It's just a little absurd without being based solely around the absurdity. Ya know? For instance--In the Mouth of Madness is absurd. But we are given what we need to take that absurdity and realize that it's all part of a larger and intricate idea, so it's justified. And heck- it's called In the Mouth of Madness so yeah. Autopsy is just ridiculous without any explanation. And that is a problem for me.

The gore is OK- although quite distractingly fake looking at times. But I did enjoy seeing that naked guy fall on that girl and have all of his organs fall onto her. The piece of glass that the guy pulls out of his side in the beginning was pretty disgusting and I almost passed out a little. And then the ending scene with the organs and circulatory system suspended in air- pretty damn sweet. But again- it's creative gore- and there isn't really anything to back it up. It's not creative enough to make up for everything else.

Basically the movie is predictable with it's scares- and everything is highly unlikely to happen---last I checked getting a drill through your skull actually IS a big deal and you can't just break loose and run around like a nut job. Also- what is up with that police man? Nice moves. Oh and perhaps the biggest blunder and absurd situation that ever happened in any movie EVER.....

Why on earth would gladly accept the T-1000 as your doctor????

Right. Big no no. Also can someone explain why some patients were just walking around- and what's his face was the only one to have his organs strung up like that? HOW DO HANGING ORGANS DO ANYTHING HELPFUL? What an aggravating hour and a half!

Anyways this sadly does not get my stamp of approval. It ends up just being a gorier and less good version of Hostel. Plus there are no boobs--dude? WTF

Buy Autopsy at Horror Movie Empire


Fnord said...

1: You're awesome.

2: I have to see this movie despite the lack of boobs.

3: If you were a woman, I'd love you.

James C. Sugrue said...

Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horrors is the best film I've ever seen at Horrorfest. That's not saying much.

Andre Dumas said...

haha wait what! I AM a woman silly!